Kate Beckinsale Has The Most Random, NSFW Rob Lowe Memorabilia

Kate Beckinsale is someone who proudly declares her obsession with penis drawings, hilarious phallic fruit arrangements, and pretty much anything to do with male genitalia. It's almost reassuring that she was exactly the same at age 13.
The English actress dug up quite the keepsake at her mother's house, according to her latest Instagram. To the untrained eye, it's a postcard documenting actor Rob Lowe in his peak-Brat Pack babe prime. Upon closer inspection, however, it's evidence that, even as a teen, Beckinsale couldn't keep her phallic fixation or impure thoughts under control. We love this woman.
Beckinsale Instagrammed the glorious treasure, available for your viewing pleasure on the next slide, which hails from the sadly now-defunct British teen magazine Just Seventeen. Her younger self added the other, ahem, personal touches.
"EITHER I was a really tragic 13-year-old with time on my hands OR Rob Lowe was all kinds of casual proposing marriage via a postcard of himself, signing his last name AND drawing a dick instead of using a stamp," the 43-year-old Love & Friendship star joked.
To clarify: Yes, Baby Beckinsale fake-proposed marriage to herself on her childhood crush's behalf, and then doodled a penis. We're not sure how the Royal Mail works, but that's probably not valid postage.
Unfortunately, Lowe, who is happily married with two sons, has yet to weigh in on this discovery, or provide a handwriting sample so we can determine that he wasn't in fact getting engaged to lovelorn British teens in the mid-'80s. Would he be flattered? Weirded out? Ruminating over the Serendipity-style possibilities had Beckinsale actually made a run to the post office and not (ew) been 10 years his junior and therefore totally illegal?
Our takeaway: Beckinsale was exactly the kind of girl we'd have wanted to be best friends with growing up. Anyone got a time machine (or her publicist's number)?