Behold, Our 2017 Oscar Predictions

In a perfect world, the Oscars would be like the ending of Mean Girls, with everyone getting a piece of a plastic crown. In reality, it took Leonardo DiCaprio more than two decades to take home a trophy, a woman of color hasn't won Best Actress in the 15 years since Halle Berry's groundbreaking moment, and, every year, countless worthy performances are overlooked.

But hey, we'll be watching the show on February 26, anyway. In the meantime, it's all about sizing up the contenders and perfecting those predictions for the office Oscar pool. Now that the 2017 Academy Awards nominations have been announced, we can roll up our sleeves and get down to business.

Whatever happens, you can bet that Moonlight and La La Land won't go home empty-handed. Our predictions for who and what will win — a list we'll be updating weekly — reflect that.

That said, the Academy can never resist throwing out a few curveballs (cough, Crash, cough). Allow for the possibility of some Adrien-Brody-besting-Jack-Nicholson-and-Daniel-Day-Lewis action — with or without the onstage dip and tongue-dive.