We're used to murders on Pretty Little Liars at this point. The small town of Rosewood is one of the most dangerous places on TV. But we still don't typically see a dead body until the end of the season. Yet, last week — during only the third episode of the season — we got a new addition to the body count: Elliott (Huw Collins). While trying to rescue Ali (Sascha Pieterse), the girls hit Elliot (er, Archer Dunhill pretending to be Elliott) with Lucas' (Brendan Robinson) car.
In the preview for this week, we saw the girls burying Elliott's body. (Because burying people has gone so well for the people in this town.) Considering Elliott is an employed doctor that will be missed by patients and co-workers, and they asked Toby (Keegan Allen), a police officer, to look into Elliott mere hours ago, and have their handprints all over sketchy shovels, there are sure to be a lot of consequences tonight.
Here are our 29 top questions while watching tonight's episode:
1. Why is going to the police completely out of the question? They have a million self defense arguments, plus the local police are probably not too keen on arresting the girls again, considering how many times they've been wrongly arrested.
2. Why is Ali the only one who realized Elliott's key card would be useful?
3. How is Emily (Shay Mitchell) messing up continually? Her going to Toby with the information on Elliott means that he's leading a manhunt on the very person they just murdered.
4. Why are they doing this to me? I do not want to watch Hanna's (Ashley Benson) heartbreak as Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) confesses his love to Spencer (Troian Bellisario). This might be the most painful scene since the first time Spencer and Toby broke up when Toby was revealed as A.
5. Is it bad that I don't feel bad for Spencer? When you date your best friend's first love, you're kind of asking for heartbreak.
6. STOP IT. Why would Aria (Lucy Hale) leave Ali alone? Universal Rosewood Truth #1: Ali is NOT to be trusted.
7. Don't you get a kissing pass if you are about to die? I think so, and considering right after Hanna's and Caleb's kiss, Hanna was attacked, kidnapped, and repeatedly abused, that kiss shouldn't be a big priority for anyone.
8. Why did they think Ali would just be like, "Yes, I want to go hang out in the mental institution where I was abused some more."
9. Is Spencer going to hook up with some random man because she's mad at Caleb? That plan never makes things easier, and she's supposed to be covering up a murder right about now.
10. If Ali didn't kill Charlotte (Vanessa Ray), than who did?
11. Elliott started hooking up with Ali even when he was in love and dating Charlotte? He said he was dating Ali to find out who murdered Charlotte.
12. Why did he first start dating Ali then? We're missing some serious pieces of the puzzle here, Elliott is even sketchier than we thought he was.
13. Why isn't Aria wearing gloves when touching the stuff she wants to use to frame Elliott?
14. Why would Spencer trust Marco? Strange men in Rosewood are never up to any good.
15. How did they lose a whole car?
16. Why did they leave the murder weapon unsupervised? The murder weapon is the main thing the police and lawyers need.
17. Why is Spencer drinking in the middle of her plan to cover up a murder?
18. More importantly, why is Spencer hooking up in the middle of her plan to cover up a murder?
19. Why didn't they think of a more strategic hiding place? "I put it next to this tree because it looked like one of those trees those little men would live in" does not sound solid.
20. Is Mona (Janel Parrish) still stalking them? Of course she's the one that knows they murdered someone.
21. Why is Mona better than everyone? Thank goodness she got the window replaced, didn't burn the damn car, knew Elliott was sketchy, and knew he had a burner phone.
22. How come they aren't all getting drunk now? Honestly, they aren't any good at covering up crimes and their lives suck, so they might as well drink up.
23. Why aren't they listening to Aria? They should all be more concerned about security cameras.
24. YAAAS THANK YOU, GODS OF ROSEWOOD, Jenna is back. When do we get to start talking about "that night" again?
25. Is Jenna pretending to be blind (again) or actually blind (again)?
26. Does Spencer realize she does not deserve to have Hanna as a friend? Spencer, be better.
27. How does Spencer not recognize Hanna's fake Tiffany engagement ring? If Mona can recognize a fake diamond, Spencer definitely should be able to.
28. Why was someone named Archer Dunhill pretending to be Elliott and involved in this anti-Ali scheme?
29. Jenna and Archer know each other! If Archer Dunhill is A.D., does that mean Jenna is Uber A? That's a reveal that I would be pleased to watch.