This Valentine's Day, Netflix & Swill Is The New Netflix & Chill

Illustrated by Tristan Offit.
Here’s the thing: I’m not anti-love, nor am I anti-romance. I actually not-so-secretly love reading those 99-cent contemporary romance novels you can buy in the Kindle store on Amazon. I even wrote a slideshow about them. Nevertheless, I can’t stand Valentine’s Day. There’s just so much pressure placed on this one day in February for people in relationships to rise to an arbitrary occasion and prove their everlasting love for one another with hearts, flowers, poems, jewelry, and reservations at extremely crowded restaurants. I know, there’s some mumbo jumbo about Saint Valentine to give it a backstory, but that’s been completely obliterated by marketers at this point. You know it’s true.

I also hate the fact that Valentine’s Day has become so overly hyped by advertisers — our capitalist overlords will take any opportunity to shill to us, really — that single people think they’re supposed to feel bad about themselves because they’re not in a relationship on February 14. If you’re reading this and you’re single, please don’t let this happen to you. Again, it’s a random day in the middle of February, and a bunch of greeting card companies, chocolatiers, and florists hawking specials shouldn’t interfere with your self-worth. You know what my favorite part of Valentine’s Day is? When all that candy goes on sale February 15. I feel this way regardless of my relationship status on the actual "holiday."

Since the blessed occasion (not) falls on a Sunday this year, we decided to design what we’re calling “The Ultimate Pop Culture Love’s-a-Bitch Valentine’s Day Plan.” It’s roughly 48 hours of nonstop programming for all the V-Day haters, commiserators, and non-daters. You don’t have to watch everything on the agenda, and you can actually participate no matter what your relationship status. Our main promise is that you won’t find any sappy love stories, improbable rom-coms, or undying declarations of soul-mate status.

Get ready for two full days of strong, fierce women, epic battles, heady mysteries, and a few necessary comedy breaks for when things have gotten too serious. Pour yourself some wine and settle back, cause it’s time to Netflix and swill.

WARNING: Some Game of Thrones spoilers lie within.