Join The Illuminati, One Soul For Fame & Fortune

Since May 1, 1776, the public has been acutely aware of the Illuminati's quiet infiltration of popular culture through subliminal messaging. The nuances are subtle, but that's the entire point. It's all hidden in plain view, and conspiracy theorists have spun their stories so well that arguing against its existence is a vicious circle with no settlement. The Illuminati is a skeptic's dream and faith's resident devil's advocate. Originally conceived to rid the world of superstition (holy irony), prejudice, and lessen the power of the Roman Catholic Church over everyday life, the secret society went underground.
Today, the notion of the Illuminati has become a gimmick — cocktail-party fodder that makes for entertaining conversation, but ultimately doesn't leave much of an impact. Perhaps that's because there really isn't anything we can do about it since it's been bestowing fabulous culture and worldly moments on us for years.
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Becoming a member is, well, tricky. Some of us have been trying for years to join with no avail. How one sells their soul and who they sell said soul to isn't as easy as typing a phone number into Facebook and pulling up a name to message 'em. It takes devotion. It takes talent. But, most of all, it takes dogged dedication and a keen eye for details. Learn to see through the lens of the secret society, and the world is yours...maybe. Here's what to keep your peepers peeled for.
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Photo: Courtesy of Polydor Ltd.
Who Is The Illuminati?
The Illuminati isn't restricted to music. It's comprised of politicians, tastemakers, actors, and, yes, music bigwigs. From the president to Rihanna, these are the people who put on the Grammys, halftime shows, and carry out assignations under the guise of "untimely death." They control the world's affairs with puppet organizations (record labels) and individual governments.
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Photo: Courtesy of Island Def Jam Music Group.
Where Are They?
Here's the thing: The Illuminati has hidden its existence in plain view. Open your wallet and look at a dollar bill. That five-sided pyramid with the floating eye? Yeah, that's the Illuminati. That five-cornered building in Washington D.C. known as the Pentagon? Illuminati. Rihanna posing in a triangle/pyramid-like geometry? Illuminati. (Music videos are actually riddled with New World Order symbolism, which is why we're illustrating this mini-guide with 'em.)
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Photo: Courtesy of Kemosabe Records.
Satanists?
Yeah, everyone is a Satanist until proven otherwise.The Pope, Jay Z, even Blue Ivy — all members, all Satanists. Duh, right? Right.
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Photo: Courtesy of Island Def Jam Music Group.
Illuminati Symbols
If you didn't gather from the previous slides, pyramids, one eye, triangles, and five-sided things are pretty major Illuminati players. Following this slide are the most important ones that infiltrate our daily lives. Learn them, honor them, and fortune is yours (maybe).
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Photo: Courtesy of Interscope.
The All-Seeing Eye
Let's go back to the dollar-bill scenario. It's the most widely circulated piece of currency in the world. The eye hovering above the unfinished 13-step pyramid represents the all-seeing eye, or the eye of Lucifer. The peeper sees everything beneath and around it — meaning you, since you're holding on to it.

The symbol is most prominently seen in popular culture by artists covering up one eye. Lady Gaga is obviously the queen of this. The eye is the architect of the future, the manipulator, and the judger. It is forever above us, and sees more of us than a drone hovering outside New York City apartment buildings.
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Photo: Courtesy of Columbia Records.
Pyramids, Triangles, And Pentagrams
Many members pay homage to the all-seeing eye by throwing up Jay Z's Roc-a-Fella hand symbol that conveniently looks like a triangle. The pyramid is representative of the top-down structure of the world. The Illuminati believe it also extends outside our earthly realm and into the grander universe.

The five-sided pyramid relates to the penta-theme. The pentagram, especially the reverse pentagram, represents evil (ooh, aah evil!). Since the OG pentagram symbolized a protection against demons, the upside down, five-pointed star is a sign of overturned power. Oh, and the two points the star makes when it's reversed depicts two horns.
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Photo: Courtesy of Kemosabe Records.
Baphomet
Well, the two horns represent Baphomet. Look closely at this screenshot of Ke$ha's "Die Young" video. For a brief second, the great dollar-sign one pulls a random card out of a deck. And, guess what — Baphomet is printed on it!

Really, though, Baphomet is also known as the "Sabbatic Goat," a symbol representing the sum of the universe. It's closely linked to Satanism, but, as mentioned before, the whole Illuminati is made up of Satanists. Basically, it's a continuation of the themes the all-knowing eye brings up. The Illuminati sees, understands, and controls all. Slip on your black wayfarers and deal with it.
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Photo: Courtesy of Def Jam Records.
El Diablo
Horns, man, horns. They're everywhere and anywhere. El Diablo ranges from skulls, rams, goats, Baphomet, and the sign language motion for "I love you." If one conspiracy theorist thinks of it through the latter lens, it lends itself to the idea of control. By throwing up the "I love you" sign, one presumably creates a connection of trust, which allows for control.
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Photo: Courtesy of Def Jam Records.
So, Let's Join!
Well, you can't. There's no application, no interview, no nothin'. Mark Dice, YouTube's resident Illuminati theorist, debunks the various agencies and brands offering membership in exchange for great sums of money. But, at the end of the day, money won't buy you an in.
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Photo: Courtesy of XL Recordings.
Bummer
Oh, darn! We can't willingly sell our souls to the mysterious, all-knowing, perma-controlled society that we casually submit to every day. Oh well. It's not a matter of joining; it's about dedication; it's about demonstrating how willing you are to be a member. It's rumored that they'll approach those worthy enough when the time is right. Then, they bring you into a room with all the world's luxuries, offer it to you in exchange for your soul. A booming laugh echoes, and there your soul goes. Bye, soul. Hello, fame and fortune!

It begins with acceptance and noticing the Illuminati influence in everything you do. Then, and only then, will your chances of being initiated increase. If nothing happens, well, at least you have interesting party fodder. So, there's that.
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