What Your Fave Gosling Movie Says About You

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You know we love our horoscopes (especially when Susan Miller is involved). But, the other day, we got to thinking: What are the astrological predictions missing? Ryan Gosling, that's what. Ryan Gosling is the thing your horoscopes (and dinner plans) are missing. So, we checked out his IMDb page, summoned the spirit of the Baby Goose, and got to cranking out some readings based on your preferred film from the Gos. Hey girl, here's what we found:



Your Favorite: Only God Forgives
What It Means: You are unlikely to forgive, unless you are God, in which case, you are very likely to forgive. Fans of this film may be suppressing an intensely violent streak that will lead you to one day fly to Bangkok and reenact a Fight Club fantasy in which you are a kinkier, even more handsome version of Tyler Durden. The majority of your life is conducted in slow motion, to the bewilderment of your peers, and you also look great in a vest.


Your Favorite: The Ides of March
What It Means: You think you're such a big man. But, mister, you're about to get cut down to size. Also, you're basically just a stand-in for George Clooney (with fewer gray hairs).


Your Favorite: Lars and the Real Girl
What It Means: Yes, you're weird, and lonely, and strange, and slightly off-putting. And, yet...people can't help but love you. In fact, entire towns are willing to suspend their disbelief in order to help you have a bit of happiness. You also do a great rendition of "L.O.V.E."


Your Favorite: Place Beyond The Pines
What It Means: Nobody knows how, but you work that bleach-blond hair. Amongst your friends, you are known as "the good-looking one."


Beware: The above video is graphic and might be disturbing.

Your Favorite: Drive
What It Means: Much like your Only God Forgives counterpart, you are prone to sudden moments of violence. What's special about you, though, is that you like to punctuate them with passionate elevator makeouts. And, you do it all in a scorpion jacket that would put Macklemore's thrifting finds to shame.


Your Favorite: Blue Valentine
What It Means: You are a perfect angel despite your faults. Please come here so we can get married.


Your Favorite: Fracture
What It Means: Meh, you're cute and all, but you should probably just step aside and let Anthony Hopkins do his thing. (We'll let you interpret how that is relevant to your actual life.)


Your Favorite: Crazy Stupid Love
What It Means: You definitely see the best in people, even the bad boys — which can sometimes be a good thing. All of your optimism could turn the hottie at the bar into the charming individual you bring home to meet mom and dad. It should also be noted that "the move" sort of crushes any other Gosling-related romantic gesture. Because, honestly, who has time to read a year's worth of letters? NO ONE, NOAH. NO ONE.


Your Favorite: The Notebook
What It Means: You believe. You believe in love. In romance. In perfectly crafted facial hair. In linen shirts. In rowboats, and sex in the rain, and swamps that are suspiciously filled with birds at just the right moment.


Your Favorite: Half Nelson
What It Means: You're a tortured soul and you might be your own worst enemy. You really mean well, but it doesn't always turn out the way you intend. Sometimes, you think you know best, and that can be really annoying for your peers. But, what they might interpret as a holier-than-thou attitude stems from a good place in your heart.


Your Favorite: Drunk History
What It Means: You're drunk.