Photo: CreditStarstock/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES.
Stop what you're doing right now. Just stop, look, and try to listen to what Lady Gaga has to say. Oh, you can't? Perhaps it's because of the massive, blonde, Brillo pad Edward Scissorhands had his way with before Jeff Koons attached a golden duckbill to it and slipped it over Gaga's head.
How doth thine Lady see? How doth she breathe? Thank God she hired a professional walker to escort her into the ARTPOP streaming party, because this bird might not have been able to fly the coop. Sure, it's Lady Gaga and this is to be expected, but (claps on the down beat) what is going on? It's amazing; it's worthy of a side eye; it is a look to trump all looks, girl. Phew! No need to call the janitor if someone makes an oops in the club, because Gaga's brought her own sponge. Haus of Gaga meets archive Martha Stewart for Kmart couture. We'll call it Haus for short.