1. He's maybe, probably, secretly plotting a big-screen remake of Hamlet set in outer space (genius).
2. He loves 3D and wants you to "just deal with it because you want to."
3. He's in total Comp Lit 101 mode — everything must be referred to as a "reading" or a "text."
4. This is less of a learning, and more of an assumption, but could he possibly be giving this film a positive spin to prime the critics for his upcoming film adaptation of As I Lay Dying?
5. This sentence: "It reminds me of my high school relationships, where I tortured girlfriends for getting fingered by other boys when they were freshmen. Just move on, dude."
Now, run along and read the full piece, and do let us know if we missed anything. All jokes aside, he does make some great points, especially about the soundtrack. And we kind of hope 2001: A Shakespeare Odyssey really happens. (Vice)
Photo: Masatoshi Okauchi/Rex/Rex USA.