At this point, we know what to expect from a GOOP collab: sweaters that cost more than college, bath towels we need to insure, and other things you'd only find in Gwyneth Paltrow's weekend chalet. The latest collection of barware, done in conjunction with Foundwell, is absolutely no exception. Should you dare to click this slideshow, you will find a teeny tiny watering can, an art-deco liquor decanter, and a pair of "Danish golf club stirrers" — which collectively cost more than a haute-couture wedding dress.
Yes, they're beautiful (they are always beautiful), but we cannot imagine keeping any of these items in our apartment without a round-the-clock armed guard stationed in the kitchen. Click through and behold the bar you will never, ever have.