Is it okay...

Is it ok to say no to sex?

is an active, ongoing agreement between people during any kind of sexual encounter, and it’s always needed.

“

"We tend to overcomplicate consent, but ideally, it is happening through all parts of our lives. It might seem really daunting or big, but... we actually do this all the time," Francis says.

If you’ve ever asked a friend for a favor, you asked for their consent. You can do it in your sex life too.

“Do you want me to keep doing this?”

Consent
should be communicated

Consent should always be an enthusiastic yes. Anything else, including silence, should be considered a “no,” and should be a sign to step on the brakes.

Pay attention
to nonverbal
cues too.

“

If you feel uncertain about whether you want to give consent, or whether your partner
is really giving it, it’s always better to be cautious. Take a break and reassess if you’re both actually comfortable with
the sexual activity.

“

This is a complete sentence, and consent can always be withdrawn at any time. If you’re not feeling comfortable during an encounter, you always have the right to say no.

Consent is ongoing, so just because someone said yes
last time, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re saying yes this time, Francis notes.

“

So, is it okay...

You can say no at any time, for any reason, no matter what. And you must give your partners plenty of space and opportunities to do the same. As Francis said: Without consent, there is no sex.

Hotline at

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Is it okay...

to say no?

is an active, ongoing agreement between people during any kind of sexual encounter, and it’s always needed.

Consent

“

CST, LMFTSex and relationship therapist

— Shadeen Francis

Consent is permission.

“

“Do you want me to keep doing this?”

“Is this still okay with you?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Do you like that?”

What asking for consent sounds like

“Can I kiss you?”

Consentshould be communicated

before and continuallyduring a sexual encounter.

Consent should always be an enthusiastic yes. Anything else, including silence, should be considered a “no,” and should be a sign to step on the brakes.

“Yes!”

What giving consent sounds like

Pay attentionto nonverbalcues too.

If your partner is pulling away, frowning, avoiding eye contact, or seems at all upset or off, those are signs to stop what you’re doing.

“

— FRANCIS

Without consent, there actually is no sex. Sex is consensual. There is either consensual sex, or abuse. Consent is necessary.

“

If you feel uncertain about whether you want to give consent, or whether your partneris really giving it, it’s always better to be cautious. Take a break and reassess if you’re both actually comfortable withthe sexual activity.

“

— FRANCIS

You have to be able to change your mind at any point in time… The only way that we know consent is being upheld is that for the entire process, I have the choice to choose something else if I realize this doesn’t work for me.

“

This is a complete sentence, and consent can always be withdrawn at any time. If you’re not feeling comfortable during an encounter, you always have the right to say no.

"No."

Consent is ongoing, so just because someone said yeslast time, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re saying yes this time, Francis notes.

“

— FRANCIS

Sex can still be sexy and passionate, and if you’re into spontaneity it can still be spontaneous while making sure that everyone is having a good time.

“

So, is it okay...

to say no to sex?

You can say no at any time, for any reason, no matter what. And you must give your partners plenty of space and opportunities to do the same. As Francis said: Without consent, there is no sex.

The answer is:

Yes!

Hotline at

RAINN Sexual Assault

1-800-656-HOPE(4673)

If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis supportplease call the

CST, LMFT
Sex and relationship therapist

Consent
should be communicated

before and continually
during a sexual encounter.

Pay attention
to nonverbal
cues too.

Without consent, there actually is no sex. Sex is consensual. There is either consensual sex,
or abuse. Consent is necessary.

If you feel uncertain about whether you want to give consent, or whether your partner
is really giving it, it’s always better to be cautious. Take a break and reassess if you’re both actually comfortable with
the sexual activity.

Consent is ongoing, so just because someone said yes
last time, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re saying yes this time, Francis notes.

If you have experienced sexual violence and are in need of crisis support
please call the