10 Women On How They Realized They Were Turning Into Their Mothers

Photographed by Natalia Mantini.
You know it when it happens. You might be pulling back your hair, laughing at a joke, or complaining about the heat. It doesn't matter what exactly you were doing — what matters is that you did it exactly like your mother.
This is when you realize, whether you like it or not, you really do resemble your mom. And there's at least a slight chance you might be turning into her. Okay, that may sound extreme (and like the plot of an early-2000s Disney film), but when a Reddit user asked women if they relate to this experience, more than a few users responded with a resounding "yes."
There were others who wrote that they actively try to avoid adopting their mother's traits and habits. Some even called becoming their mothers their "biggest fear." Clearly, this prompt has brought up some complex emotions about maternal relationships.
It's unlikely you'll ever be exactly like your mom, but this thread is an important reminder that there's no one-size-fits-all relationship with mothers: You can look forward to having your mom's perspective, while still dreading ever showing signs of her temper. Ahead of Mother's Day this year, here are some of the best responses to one redditor who asked: Are you turning into your mother?
Welcome to Mothership: Parenting stories you actually want to read, whether you're thinking about or passing on kids, from egg-freezing to taking home baby and beyond. Because motherhood is a big if — not when — and it's time we talked about it that way.
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I hear her voice coming out of my mouth more and more.

"I hear her voice coming out of my mouth more and more, and I even see her in the mirror sometimes. Mostly my mom is awesome so this is also awesome. For a while I shared her snark/biting wit but I've tried to curtail it and think I've been rather successful. We have a lot of mannerisms/expressions in common. We're both stubborn. We're both take charge/can do ladies."

-Reddit user havalinaaa
2 of 11

It's mentally and physically discomforting.

"Every once in a while I'll do or say something in the exact same manner as my mother. It's mentally and physically discomforting. Makes me feel gross."

-Reddit user thunderling
3 of 11

We have the same dry, snarky, sassy sense of humor.

"Yup. It's nice. We're both liberal, we tend to get prickly way too fast when we feel like someone is slighting us, we have inappropriately intense emotions towards fictional characters, we gossip and judge and nit-pick like hens, we have the same dry, snarky, sassy sense of humor, we tend to nag and worry, we both have awful body image issues, we look similar and dress similarly, we repeat the same stories over and over and over."

-Reddit user Little_Lion
4 of 11

I wish I was as chill as my mom.

"While I'm very neurotic, I'm pretty firmly grounded in reality about 95% of the time; my mom is one of those incredibly practical people who I totally aspire to be. I wish I could move out of my own head sometimes, just like her.

"It turns out that we're also completely equal in our lack of sentiment. I never would have expected it when I was younger, but I'm not at all a romantic, and I have very little emotional attachment to things, days, etc.

"It's pretty cool, really. I wish I was as chill as my mom."

-Reddit user Creepthan_Frome
5 of 11

I'm starting to laugh like her.

"I'm starting to laugh like her and it is terrifying."

-Reddit user mehrie
6 of 11

She's basically a reassurance of who I am.

"Yes I am [turning into my mother]. And I love it.

"We have a lot of the same mannerisms, same opinions, are both stupidly modest as well as stubborn, always put other people before ourselves. I feel like she's my best friend and I can talk to her about anything and everything with no boundaries. She's basically a reassurance of who I am and what I'm about. And if I do something stupid, I know she'll be there to call me out on it.

"Hot damn, I love that woman. She's my rock."

-Reddit user dmgb
7 of 11

It is a little surreal, but kinda cool.

"I think I am a pretty decent mix of her and my dad.

"More so now that I have taken on a 'parenting role.' I hear myself say things that bring back total deja vu to childhood. It is a little surreal, but kinda cool. I am very proud of my mom."

-Reddit user DavisDogLady
8 of 11

I'm a lot more like my dad.

"That would be cool, because my mother is the most sane and content person I know. She's neutral good and also smart, competent and organized, but really quiet about it. If she didn't smoke, she'd be absolutely perfect.

"I'm a lot more like my dad, though, which means more emotional ups and downs, more worries and much less of a peace maker mentality. He's lawful good, a hard worker, perfectionist and standards that are just a tad too high for anyone's best interest."

-Account has been deleted
9 of 11

Fingers crossed I can take the best parts of her.

"I feel very mixed about this. My mom isn't a monster, she does have her good traits. There are parts of her that I admire and hope I can emulate myself. She was great putting my education as the priority, scrimping anywhere she could to send me to a good school when public schools weren't cutting it. I'm grateful she pulled me out of my old school when she did, and I'm grateful she cared when I see so many other parents stay apathetic. Somehow I was raised with a good body image, a good self-worth, with the experience and strategies to stay frugal, compared to my peers. She's neat and organized. These are all things I hope to emulate and pass on to my future kids. I've always been the messy one at home, growing up, but now that I'm older I make the bed and sweep and scrub every week. These are things my mom always did and I never understood till now. She's clever with life stuff — taxes, medical stuff, dealing with people. These are skills I wanna pick up myself.

"But there's a lot of negative, too. Most conversations with her on the phone turn in to scolding sessions where she'll find something to shame me about. She's very petty and I hope to God I don't become petty like her. I hope I can be a forgiving person, an understanding person, and someone who is not so stubborn that it's more important to win an argument than seek the truth. No. She needs to set pride aside, and I hope I can always do that myself.

"Fingers crossed I can take the best parts of her for myself and leave the bad behind."

-Reddit user finalDraft_v012
10 of 11

We often unintentionally wear similar clothing.

"When we go out shopping we often unintentionally wear similar clothing. We're the same height and both wear similarly shaped glasses. My mom has gotten into fashion in the last few years and although my style can vary quite a bit, sometimes we end up wearing the same colour jacket, same style boots, both with a plaid scarf on, man! My mom is a caring, intelligent, patient and creative woman, so I would be happy to become anything like her and I believe I have due to her raising me."

-Account has been deleted
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