Why Making Friends In Your 20s Is So Hard — & What You Can Do About It

Photographed by Natalia Mantini.
Whether you have a handful of close friends or a full-blown Taylor Swift-esque squad, your friendships are important. It isn't just about having someone to brunch with (though that's important, too). Research has shown that your friends, provided they're good friends, can be great for your health.
But, if you've graduated college, moved to a new city, or have generally gone through a lot of recent life changes, it's normal to find that your friend group has started dwindling. Vera Eck, MFT, an Imago relationship therapist in Los Angeles, says that post-grad life can be a perfect storm of chaos that leaves friendships at the wayside.
"Making friends past college is difficult because you are no longer with your cohort," she says. "College is an instant social scene with people your age, sharing your common interests. Once you graduate from college, that whole network is gone, unless you make an effort to keep it going."
And, even if you didn't go to college, chances are, you're going through a lot of life changes that make it harder to meet new people. Being able to do things on your own can be really rewarding, but there's no shame in wishing you had more friends, too.
"Humans are tribal and we need to make the effort to either find or create our own village," Eck says.
If you feel like you're missing out on having the kind of squad everyone else seems to have, you're not the only one. Making friends as an adult can seem like a demoralizing uphill battle, but it doesn't have to be. Read on for some common reasons your friendships have changed and ways to deal with those changes.
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