Your New Workout Is Just A Pair Of Skinny Jeans Away

Illustrated by Anna Sudit.
We’ve all been there. That post-dryer moment when you stuff your thigh into a pair of seemingly two-dimensional skinny jeans. You may have just purchased the pants, but after their first tumble around the dryer, you’re not sure how the waistband, which is currently the size of one butt cheek, will stretch to fit across both. Many of us work out in order to fit into these narrow, constricting denim tubes. But, the truth of the matter is: The act of getting into a pair of skinny jeans is a workout in and of itself.

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During a recent session with a trainer, I noticed that many of the exercises she was showing me were no different than the motions I practiced one day earlier while getting into a pair of freshly washed-and-dried ankle-skimming denim. Squats, lunges, kicks; they were all there. Had I just repeated each skinny-jeans movement a few more times,  I wouldn’t have needed a session with a trainer.

It is with this in mind that I present you The Skinny-Jean Workout — the exercise routine that’s already embedded into your schedule; you just didn’t know it. It may not be as popular or as calorie-burning as a spin at Soul Cycle. Still, it’s safe to assume that many grown women have, at some point in their lives, repurposed the grand pliés they learned in ballet class at age five in order to ensure those skinny jeans sit comfortably.

Now, let’s get physical.

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