Every news outlet in the world has something to say about Katie Holmes right now. Whether it be scientology stake outs, conspiring marriage contracts, or a part of some Illuminati plot to steal Suri, her divorce with Tom Cruise is Grade A celebrity gossip. So we'd encourage Katie to take a moment and turn to one of our childhood heroes, the effusively positive, quick-witted Katie Holmes Joey Potter.
Joey, the inimitable heroine who rowed to Dawson for six seasons (well, then Jack. And then Pacey. And then a slew of forgettable faces in her college years), engaged us weekly by lamenting about her lovelife — and she's got some choice quotes that Potter might pass to Holmes if she could. While Tom Cruise and Pacey Witter are worlds apart (and one is a fictional character...guess which?), some of these quips could be uttered by Katie right now. And just maybe...they should be.
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Joey: "Wait a second, I have to smile? You never said anything about smiling." (Season One, Episode Twelve)
Joey: "Just because I’m not in Daytona participating in some wet T-shirt contest doesn’t mean I’m not having any fun." (Season Five, Episode 11)
Joey: "God, Jen, what are we going to do all summer?"
Jen: "Same thing we did all last summer?"
Jen: "You’ll have to refresh my memory. I was otherwise engaged." (Season Four, Episode 23)
Jen: "Same thing we did all last summer?"
Jen: "You’ll have to refresh my memory. I was otherwise engaged." (Season Four, Episode 23)
Joey: "Imagine that, Pacey. We actually have something in common... Providing gossip for the small-minded townsfolk. And unfortunately for you, you're tonight's top story." (Season One, Episode Six)
Joey: "For so long, all I've thought about was you, all I dreamed about was you..."
Dawson: "What happened?"
Joey: "I got my dream, and now I don't have anything else." (Season Two, Episode Six)
Dawson: "What happened?"
Joey: "I got my dream, and now I don't have anything else." (Season Two, Episode Six)
Joey: "Why do I feel like I fell asleep on the train and woke up the protagonist in a Kafka story?" (Season Three, Episode 17)
Joey: "Hold on a second, please. That’s the best you can do for your childhood hero?" (Season Six, Episode One)
Joey: "So what? If I want to be with you, I'm supposed to just throw all of my previous life experience out the window? I'm supposed to just stop being who I am?" (Season Six, Episode 23)
Joey: "You know, maybe — and this is just a shot in the dark — she didn't mean to send it to the gossips at large. Maybe she's just trying to get some private closure, never dreamed she'd be subjected to the Oprah psychobabble of her life-lacking peers. Now, do you guys want something to eat, or should I just bring over a nice tray of bon-bons so you guys can hunker down and watch your stories?" (Season Six, Episode Three)
Dawson: "Here I am. Single, sandwiched in between two women who both dumped me. I am pathetic."
Jen: "Hey, look at me, I'm dating a bible thumping hypocrite, okay?"
Joey: "Hey...my boyfriend may be gay." (Season Two, Episode 15)
Jen: "Hey, look at me, I'm dating a bible thumping hypocrite, okay?"
Joey: "Hey...my boyfriend may be gay." (Season Two, Episode 15)
Photo: Courtesy of The WB