The Date Where I Got Catfished

I had just broken up with my boyfriend of two and a half years because he’d cheated on me. I was jumping back into the online dating game. And on this particular night, I actually had another date lined up. But I had been messaging with my would-be catfisher and he was like, "Cancel your plans, you’re hanging out with me."

At first, I was into it. I thought, Okay, cool, I can get down with a dom situation. So I agreed to ditch my other date and meet him.

He really wanted to go to this cupcake shop. I kept telling him, "Bro, I’m gluten-free, we’re not doing cupcakes," but he was all about this shop. Finally, I just said sure.

I showed up right on time, then got a text saying he’s in an Uber coming from the Bronx to the East Village, and he’s going to be 45 minutes late. My first thought was, Fuck this shit.

But I was fresh out of a relationship with someone who wasn’t a good fit for me, and I love attention and being validated. So instead of bailing I told him I was going to get a taco nearby, and he could meet me there. I figured if he didn’t show up by the time I finished my taco, I’d just leave. But he kept pushing it back, and I thought, You know what, he said he’d been working late. He’s a social worker. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. Let’s see what happens.

Ultimately, he was 90 minutes late. My back was to the door, but I kind of felt his energy when he walked in. I turned around and it was as if his hot older brother had sent this guy in his place, and thought he would get away with it. He looked very different from his photos. It was really strange.

I started to flip out and to be honest, I think he could tell. Then he started saying, "Let’s go to that cupcake shop!" again, which — bro, I’m gluten-free!

I still didn’t bail. We went to a juice place and I was so uncomfortable, and actually kind of scared. I didn’t know what to do. He started talking about what he’s looking for in a relationship and finally, after maybe 30 minutes, I told him I had to go get ready for a show.

Even then, he wanted to walk me to my train. The guy had no social cues whatsoever. I did not try to hide my discomfort, yet he still asked if we could hook up after my show. I got on the train and as it was going over a bridge, I checked his profile — he’d already unmatched me!

Of course, he swiped on me again six months later.