When Giving Head, Use Your Tongue Wisely

The way most people talk about oral sex, it sounds pretty simple. You either lick someone's vulva or suck their penis and that's all there is to it. But once you really start giving head, no matter what body part you're going down on, you discover that there's so much more to it than licking and sucking.

There are about 5,000 things you can do with your tongue, and they don't all feel good for everyone. For example, my roommate and I have both encountered people who try to "tongue fuck" us, meaning they attempt to stick their tongue into our vaginas. And neither of us has ever been impressed with that move.

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"Because the vagina doesn't have all the sensitive pleasure-receptive nerve endings the clitoris does, whatever the tongue is doing to the vaginal entrance or canal may not be all it's cracked up to be," says Sadie Allison, PhD, founder of sex toy boutique TickleKitty.com and author of Tickle His Pickle – Your Hands-on Guide to Penis Pleasing. But some people really love being tongue-penetrated. "Some people enjoy the thought of their partner tasting them, eating the body juices, or the closeness of swapping fluids," says Rosara Torrisi, PhD, an AASECT certified sex therapist and the founder of the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy. Putting pressure on the vaginal opening can be erotic, as well. As always, the sexy-factor of tongue penetration is dependent on the preferences of the person being tongued.

And the same goes for anything else you want to do with your tongue during oral sex, whether you're giving a blow job or eating someone out; you always want to ask your partner what they like and check in during sex to make sure whatever you're doing with your tongue feels good.

Still, there are certain oral sex techniques that nearly always feel amazing. Like mind-blowing-ly amazing. So we've asked Dr. Allison to share some tips below.

For eating a vulva out

With a flat, wide tongue, lap in long strokes on the outside of your partner's panties until they're wet and your lover is begging for it.

For giving a blowjob

Tease your partner by circling your tongue around their penis head, using the least amount of pressure as possible.

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For eating a vulva out

Use your tongue to tease: Lightly lick or suck everywhere around the clitoris before you actually lick the clit. Start with the inner thighs, vulva, and lips.

For giving a blowjob

Slide only your tongue up the underside of the shaft, then use just the tip of your tongue to swirl it all around your partner's frenulum or “V spot” — which is a sensitive pleasure spot.

For eating a vulva out

Lick your partner's vulva in an upwards motion, lifting from the base of the tongue and gliding upwards along the clitoris.

For giving a blowjob

Hold the shaft penis with your hands, and focus your tongue on the head. If you want, you can twist your hand on the shaft back and forth like you're turning a door knob or a kaleidoscope, for extra sensation.

For eating a vulva out

Lay your tongue flat and relaxed at the bottom of your partner's vulva, then swish with wide licks from the bottom to the very top, above the clitoris (right under the vaginal hood).

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For giving a blowjob

With a wide, relaxed tongue, repeatedly lick and lap your partner's penis upward like a melting ice cream cone.

For eating a vulva out

Flex and lick with the tip of your tongue for focused pleasure and to get every nook and cranny.

For giving a blowjob

Flutter your tongue back and forth all along your partner's shaft and head, up and down.

For eating a vulva out

Keep consistent tongue technique: If your partner is reacting positively, keep doing that! You don’t always need to always "switch it up."

For giving a blowjob

While your partner's penis is inside your mouth, apply steady focused pressure on the head and lick in circles. Then hold your tongue against the side of the shaft for an up and down lick each time.

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For eating a vulva out

When focusing on the clitoris, slow, gentle circular movements can feel great. Switch between clockwise and counterclockwise rotations. If your partner is extra sensitive to direct stimulation, lick in circles around the clitoris (but not on it).

For giving a blowjob

Swirl your tongue all around and in between your partner's balls with a relaxed, wide tongue.

For eating a vulva out

A figure-eight lick motion is a favorite of many, because it covers a lot of territory and surface, stimulating the sides of the vulva, too (not just the clitoris).

For giving a blowjob

Lather up extra saliva, tilt your head to the side, pucker your lips, and run your mouth (tongue included) up and down the side of your partner's shaft.

For eating a vulva out

Experiment with different shapes and "firmnesses" of the tongue for licking, from super soft and loose, to tight and firm. The tongue has eight different muscles, which enables you to offer a world of sensations and pleasures.

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For giving a blowjob

When your partner cums in your mouth, use the tip of your tongue to gently cover the meatus (the opening of the penis), which will prevent the cum from squirting into the back of your throat, and will act as a "spray blocker."

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