How To Have Great Sex In College Dorm Rooms (Without Annoying Your Roommate)

There's so much to consider when you're packing up all your belongings to move into your new college dorm room freshman year. Which Target bedspread should you buy? How many clothes hangers do you really need? Do you need both a microwave and a mini fridge? And is your roommate going to be a total terror? But the question you might not have asked yourself: How am I going to have sex?

If sex hasn't crossed your mind during all the planning, maybe it should. Lots of people have at least a few college hookups (some amazing, some not-so-much) during their first year, because being away at school offers them sexual freedom they've never had. But sometimes, your parents' prying eyes get replaced by your roommate's study schedule, and it's not quite as easy to have sex as you thought.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ahead, Ashley Grinonneau-Denton an AASECT Sex Therapist from Cleveland, Ohio, gives tips on how to have really great, almost-never-awkward sex in your dorm room: from how to negotiate with your roommate to where to keep your condoms.

illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Set some ground rules



Listen, there's no way to get through dorm room sex totally unscathed. If you think you can have all kinds of sex whenever you want and never have to speak a word about your sexcapades to your roommate, think again. "I encourage young adults entering or going back to college to be candid with their roommates about rules around 'sleepovers,'" says Grinonneau-Denton.

That means you're going to have to talk about sex, and make some compromises with your new roommate. When is okay to have sex in the room? When is it not okay? How often is it okay? Should you have a heads-up signal for when things happen spontaneously? These are just a few of the questions you should answer. "Each roommate may have different expectations and be comfortable with different things, so it is important to be open to discussing different boundaries," Grinonneau-Denton says. "Those who make it work tend to give their roomie a heads up so an exit strategy can be made and their roommate has somewhere to crash."
illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Don't be unreasonable



Sure, a getaway plan for spontaneous sex might be included in your roomie ground rules, but that doesn't mean you can be a jerk and abuse the power. "Consider that [your roommate might say no] in lieu of an important exam or assignment," Grinonneau-Denton says. And be respectful when your request gets denied. It is college, after all, and people have to study. Just make sure you and your sex partner have a plan B in case you can't go to your room.
illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Get creative



College dorm room beds are notoriously cramped, and can make sex "feel like you're two oversized 10-year-olds at summer camp," as Cosmo puts it. So if missionary position feels too weird because one of you is really tall or you don't both fit comfortably, get creative with your positions (tbh, it might lead to way more exciting sex anyway). College dorm beds are tiny, sure, but you can still make some fun and exciting sex positions happen. Keep your imagination open and remember that you don't both have to be laying down, Grinonneau-Denton says. Have you ever tried face-sitting? Now might be a good time to give it a go.
illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Don't restrict yourself



Whether or not the tiny beds prove too difficult to deal with, it can be fun to have sex somewhere other than the bed. "Often, having sex on the floor or on a dresser can amp up the excitement and get all those sexy chemicals that induce excitement flowing," Grinonneau-Denton says. So consider getting down and dirty on top of the ancient desk that came with the dorm decor. Just maybe put a towel down first.
ADVERTISEMENT
illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Be prepared



Another super fun thing about college dorm sex that everyone loves? Having to wait patiently while your sex partner digs endlessly through their messy desk drawer to find the one condom they took from the health center at orientation. So if you're planning to have sex at any point this semester, keep your condoms or dental dams close by. "Keep a small container including a towel and condoms near or under your bed for easy access and storage," Grinonneau-Denton says.
illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Keep it quiet



Dorm room walls are often built with concrete. Yet, somehow, they also manage to be paper-thin. So even if your roommate is out of the picture for the night, you might still have to keep the volume on your sex noises down, or else risk a knock from your angry neighbor (or worse, your RA). But don't worry too much. "If nothing else, a sex moan has never seriously injured anyone," Grinonneau-Denton says.

Still, if you feel embarrassed or want to be a respectful neighbor, try to keep it quiet. Hey, it might even be hot. "Being quiet can become a sexy game between partners and can help make sex seem naughty and exciting," Grinonneau-Denton says. "It all depends on the lens you're looking through."
illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Don't be embarrassed



Chances are good that at some point someone living in your dorm hall is going to hear you having sex, and they might make fun of you for it. Even if your heart is pounding and your face is turning red, you can choose to make the moment empowering. "Own it. You had good sex and they know it — they're probably jealous," Grinonneau-Denton says.
illustrated by Tristan Offit.

Decide what to share and what's off-limits



If you and your roommate want to have a communal container of all condoms you've collected from the student health center, that might be a good idea. But it's unsafe to share certain kinds of sex toys (or any sex toys, without cleaning them properly), and you may find it a little icky to think about sharing lube. Decide what's okay to borrow (dental dams)
ADVERTISEMENT
Load more...