In the movies, car sex always looks really hot. There's the steamy, passionate, hand-thrown-against-the-window car sex Jack and Rose have on Titanic, the spontaneous car make out scene in The Virgin Suicides, and the tender moment between Lloyd and Diane after they have car sex in Say Anything. And, miraculously, all of the participants always look super comfortable.
But how much do these movie scenes mimic real life? We talked to people who've actually had sex in cars, and it's pretty clear that movies have led us astray. While car sex can be hot, passionate, and fun, it can also be pretty awkward. Most people struggle to find a position that works while cramped in the back (or front) seat of a car. Plus, there's always the worry that someone will catch you in the act (just FYI, public sex is illegal in most states).
"It was so fun! There’s something sexy about trying to maneuver in a different space, especially with the added thrill and danger of ‘maybe someone will see.'"
Tip: Just go for it. Relax, have fun, and laugh. It’s funny! Don’t be self-conscious when you’re as folded and twisted as a pretzel. — Lauren, 26, North Carolina.
"Car sex is great once you figure out a comfortable position. It'll depend on your respective body sizes. I'm tall and my wife is very short, so I slide the front seat as far forward as it will go and then sit in the rear and she climbs on top of me, facing me. It's one of my favorite ways to have sex. Do keep in mind that, in this position, the woman will be doing most of the work. When she gets worn out, we'll sometimes lay down across the back seat, but that's difficult with my height and the small size of my car." — via Reddit.
Tip: Keep your height differences in mind.
"I grew up in Florida, so most of my high-school sexual experiences were in cars. It's better than not having sex at all, right? Most of the time, I had trouble getting leverage, and while oral sex on men [who have penises] is fairly straightforward in a car, it's much more difficult to get in a position when attempting oral sex on a woman [who has a vagina]. The backseat (if you have one big enough) is better for leverage, but the person on the bottom always seems to end up getting their head continuously bumped into a hard plastic arm rest..."
Tip: Remove only the clothes you have to, and try to keep them all in the same place after you take them off; nothing kills a post-sex mood like digging around under a car seat for your underwear. — Josh, 28, Florida.
"Incredibly awkward. I hooked up with a guy on Halloween night, and he was in full-face costume makeup to look like one of the War Boys from Mad Max. There wasn’t much foreplay, we struggled to find the right position, and about halfway through he said he was thinking of his ex. Also pretty sure a cop saw us."
Tip: It's all about communication and relaxation. Also foreplay, foreplay, FOREPLAY! — Erica, 24, Wisconsin
"Doing it during the day is really difficult. I think the only place my fiancé and I have fucked in the car during the day was in the woods, but we were really lucky to have a huge wooded area (with hiking trails and whatnot) that we could sneak onto. Nighttime makes it so much easier because you have more places without people. We've done it in multiple parks, a little turn-around spot off a road, a friend's driveway (in the country — it's a dirt driveway on a hill), and a few other places. We also had sex outside the car on a hiking trail one time, which was fun: we just lay his jacket on the ground and went at it!" — via Reddit
Tip: Choose the time carefully, and use the nighttime to your advantage.
"Not so good! We were in an empty parking lot and all of a sudden, we saw flashing lights. A cop caught us. He told us to get out; I thought he meant get out of the car. So I left the car in a truly disheveled state and was judged by a cop. I was 17 and living at home — we didn't have anywhere else to go!"
Tip: Accept the fact that it probably won't be as good as a bed — but it'll be fun! Find what's comfortable and stick with that. — Clarissa, 24, New York.
"It was terrible. I was driving him home after hitting it off at a mutual friend's birthday party, but first had to drop off a different friend. We didn't make it out of her parking lot before some clothes came off. It was fun for a bit, but he was tipsy and rather uncoordinated, so after a few failed positioning attempts, I called it off. I didn't get a chance to put my shirt back on, so I ended up chauffeuring him home shirtless. Even the friend I dropped off remembers the end of the night badly — 'I was so mad at you because I wanted McDonald’s and your stupid sex got in the way of my fast food.'"
Tip: Don't have to awkwardly drive somewhere afterward. — Meredith, 25, New York.
"If you plan on car sex, LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION. I cannot tell you how many of my friends have been caught in parking lots and places that are much too public. If you're into the voyeuristic qualities of car sex, then find a place that has the illusion of a public space while still remaining very private. Trust me, you do NOT want a cop tapping on your window with his lil flashlight while you two throw your clothes on backward and pretend that you were just 'talking'." — via Reddit.
Tip: Make sure you choose a secluded place to park, where people (and cops) won't be walking by.
"It was after an outdoorsy weekend in nature with my boyfriend's family. Unsurprisingly, there wasn't an opportunity for sex all weekend, so by the time we were driving back to the city we were both pretty ready. We pulled into a national park and found a quiet road where we could, erm, take care of business uninterrupted. The sex itself isn't all that enjoyable, to be honest, especially since you don't get adequate post-coital snuggle time. But the excitement and the giddiness afterward makes car sex worth it once in a while."
Tip: The car itself is key. In a bigger car like a minivan you can put down the back seats to make a totally flat area behind the first row. — Madison, 24, Philadelphia.