How To Find The Right Whip For Your BDSM Play

If you enjoy being spanked and you're ready to add a whip or two to your sex life, selecting the right one to fit your desires can be more complicated than you think. In the BDSM world, the word "whip" can refer to anything from floggers (the tools with a sturdy handle and a bunch of tails) to crops (like the ones used for horses) to single-tail bull whips, which are actually the most dangerous and ill-advised type for newbies, says Galen Fous, a kink-positive sex therapist and fetish sex educator.

All of these whips can be used in what the BDSM community calls "impact play," which can include spanking, whipping, flogging, and caning. Of course, you don't have to be deep in the world of BDSM to add a whip to your sex life. As long as you engage in impact play safely — meaning you communicate before, during, and after with your partner, and you make sure to only hit parts of the body protected by fat or muscle (like the butt or thighs) — then you should feel free to experiment with whips, if that's what turns you on. Fous says it's also good idea to practice with any new whip on a pillow, and start slow when using one on a partner who's new to this kind of play.


Think you're ready to add a whip or two to your sex life? Ahead, we've rounded up some great floggers, paddles, whips, and crops if you want to add some BDSM to your sex life.

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First Time Fetish Riding Crop

If you're not quite ready for a real whip, it's best to start with a riding crop. Because riding crops have more surface area at the tip than a whip, they'll hurt less upon impact. Of course, the pain level also depends on how hard the dominate partner hits, so use a light hand and work up to more.

Apply "R29" at checkout for 29% off one item at Adam & Eve.
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Magnifique Whip Necklace

This light impact whip doubles as a chic necklace. Wear it out on the town, then take it off for a bit of sexy fun when you get home.

Bijoux Indiscrets, Magnifique Whip Necklace, $30.00 at Unbound.
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Enchanted Heart Paddle

If you're new to impact play, Fous says to start with a paddle about the size of the ones used for ping pong. (The surface area on paddles allows for a less painful impact than thinner whips, which can dole out stinging sensations.) This paddle is a great one to try, since it's double-sided, with faux suede on one side and soft faux fur on the other. Plus, it's shaped like a heart! Start with the furry side and work your way up to the rougher touch.

Apply "R29" at checkout for 29% off one item at Adam & Eve.
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Photo courtesy of The Kink Store.

All Rubber Flogger

This 40-strand rubber flogger provides intense stinging sensations. It's pretty heavy duty, so it's not the best choice for beginners. But experienced kinksters who aren't into using leather will definitely enjoy this one.

Kink Store, All Rubber Flogger, $103.99, available at Kink Store.
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Icicles No.38 Glass Whip

We love investing in a multi-tasking tool, and this baby has a black leather whip on one end, as well as a beautiful glass dildo on the other.

Apply "R29" at checkout for 29% off one item at Adam & Eve.
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Tease Riding Crop

This riding crop is also perfect for beginners — just check out that cute purple heart. It's reversible, so you can use the purple heart end to tease erogenous zones, and then use the black leather end when your partner is ready to be spanked.

Lovehoney, Tease Riding Crop, $16.99, at Lovehoney.
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Wooden Spanking Paddle

While large paddles may seem scarier than small whips, they can actually hurt less than whips, since they come into contact with a larger area of your body, Fous says. That means there's more muscle and fat to absorb the impact.

Woodpeckers, Spanking Paddle Unfinished Wood 12", $10.99 at Amazon.
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Body Tickler Ball Chain Whip

This ball chain whip can be totally hot — but it can definitely hurt. So don't whack your partner with this one, unless you're both seasoned S&M pros and know exactly what you're doing. Since it has a metal tassel on the end, it can also be glided over your partner's erogenous zones to gingerly tease them.
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Triple Leather Slapper

Slappers feel similar to belts when used for spanking. This version comes with three leather strips, which means it packs a triple punch. Both newbies and experienced impact players can use this guy, depending on how hard you deliver blows.

KinkLab, Triple Leather Slapper, $38.95, available at Stockroom.
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Scarlet Couture Spank Me Paddle

A best-seller on Adam & Eve, one of the best sex toy watering holes on the web, for a reason. This is a slightly wider paddle with a bonus 90"of binding rope around the handle, if that's what you're into.

Apply "R29" at checkout for 29% off one item at Adam & Eve.
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XOXO Paddle

After you've become familiar with softer and wider paddles, you can move onto impression paddles, which leave specific marks on the person getting spanked. If you're using this paddle, the XOXO isn't simply there for decor — if you spank your partner hard enough, the inlets will lovingly brand their behind.
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Important: This whip is not for first-timers. According to Fous, using single-tail whips like this one is considered a form of edgeplay (extreme BDSM behavior that's thought to be particularly dangerous). Long whips are more difficult to control and can wrap around the body, which can hurt like hell, and Fous says they can cut like a razor blade. So don't use anything that looks like this on a partner, unless you've spent years practicing edgeplay and understand the dangers.

Fetish Fantasy, 6 Foot Advanced Leather Bullwhip, $8.99, at Lovehoney.
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