You’re never going to guess what month it is. Yes, since time doesn’t exist and this summer was a fever dream/nightmare, it is September now. We’re almost a week into the month that ushers in the second-last season of the year. Usually, this is my favourite time of year. I love the feeling of a fresh start that September brings. Even though I’m a grown-ass woman who has not been in a classroom for years (and only gets homework from her therapist), I still love back-to-school, and I am more than ready for this godforsaken year to be over.
But this impending fall is hitting differently. It’s about to get too cold for our requisite socially distanced park hangs and all the other outdoor activities we’ve taken up since they’re all you can do in a pandemic. There is one good thing about potentially being stuck indoors again: Netflix has you covered. Let bingeing be the thing that distracts you from the fact that the world is on fire.
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Here are the 11 best tv shows and movies to watch on Netflix Canada in September.
Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.
Love, Guaranteed
Critics have been disparaging Love, Guaranteed by comparing it to a Hallmark Channel movie. Um, if you’re like me and you love cheesy B-movie romances, you know that comparison will only entice you to watch it more. I mean, Netflix had me at Damon Wayans Jr. (aka Coach on New Girl and Brad on Happy Endings) and Rachael Leigh Cook (aka Laney Boggs from the cinematic treasure She’s All That), but I’ll give you the synopsis in case you need a little more convincing: “Sparks fly when a crusading but cash-strapped attorney takes on a charming client looking to sue a dating site that guarantees its users will find love.” Cool cool, INJECT IT. The best part? The script was written by Hilary Galanoy and Elizabeth Hackett, who also wrote last summer’s masterpiece Falling Inn Love. Streaming now
Photo: David Lee/Paramount/Kobal/Shutterstock.
Fences
Sometimes, you just need a cathartic cry. If you’re looking to release some stress, anxiety or tension through your eyeballs, I promise watching Fences will do the trick. It’s the Oscar-winning adaptation of August Wilson’s seminal play of the same name starring living legends Denzel Washington and Viola Davis. A friend had to basically carry me out of the theatre the first time I saw this movie because I was sobbing so hard.
I know what you’re thinking. Nope, that shit is too sad for me right now. I hear you, but let Uncle Denzel and Auntie Viola’s remarkable performances break your heart to help you process the real heartbreak happening in the news daily. In Fences, Washington plays a “once-promising baseball player who was denied a shot at the big leagues because of his race” who “comes to terms with his life in 1950s Pittsburgh.” Streaming now
Photo: Courtesy of Mary Cybulski/NETFLIX.
I’m Thinking of Ending Things
Jesse Plemons (Landry forever) is in a very loving and healthy relationship with his wife Kirsten Dunst. Well, that’s what recent quotes from the actors in The New York Times would suggest. “I knew he would be in my life forever,” Dunst told the Times about meeting her husband. Awww.
On screen, it’s not looking as good for Plemons’ love life. In I’m Thinking Of Ending Things, he plays Jake, a man who takes a road trip with his girlfriend to introduce her to his parents. She’s thinking of ending things. Everyone is weird. The trailer makes it look like things just get weirder as the story unfolds, which is on brand for director Charlie Kaufman (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). It’s all so strange, Plemons says he didn’t know what the movie was about up until the day they started shooting. So, why watch a movie that seems super-confusing? Well, it’s going to have great performances (Jessie Buckley and Toni Collette also star) and a trippy, cerebral, mind-bending drama may just be what we need right now. Streaming now
Photo: Courtesy of NBC.
The Good Place Season 4
I have recommended The Good Place before. During its run, it was easily the smartest and best comedy on television. I said what I said. Every time you thought you knew where the show was going, it flipped expectations upside down and Shawn evil-laughed in our faces. It was exhilarating to watch a show so original and so damn funny.
The fourth and final season of The Good Place is finally coming to Netflix and as much as I love this show, I also love that it didn’t overstay their welcome, like Tahani at a party full of celebrities. I promise you’ll laugh-cry all the way though. Plus, a show about existential crises and what it means to be a good person is more timely now than ever. September 26
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Photo: Paramount/Kobal/Shutterstock.
How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days
This is Matthew McConaughey’s best romantic comedy (my sincerest apologies to close second The Wedding Planner) and Kate Hudson’s best movie, period (yes, including Almost Famous). That is how hard I ride for How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.
It’s not just the classic rom-com premise of two people falling in love while they are pretending not to, or the fact that it’s got one of the all-time best karaoke scenes in a rom-com, it’s the insane, palpable chemistry of McConaughey and Hudson. Like Roberts and Grant (or Roberts and Gere) before them, this duo will make you believe in love, and it won’t take 10 days. Streaming now
Photo: Warner Bros/Moviestore/Shutterstock.
A Star Is Born
“There can be a hundred people in the room, and 99 don’t believe in you, but one does. All you need is one person.” I just wrote that quote from memory because Lady Gaga said it over and over again during the A Star Is Born press tour about how much Bradley Cooper believed in her. It became a meme, a mood, a message.
If that ONE PERSON (Bradley Cooper) didn’t believe in Gaga, I mean, she still would have been Lady Gaga, BUT we wouldn’t have the latest iteration of A Star is Born as we know it. And what a travesty that would be. Final note: As much as I love this movie (seriously, I really like it), I will never forgive them for having Anthony Ramos right there and not putting his singing and dancing talents to good use. Where was the one person in the room for Ramos? September 8
Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.
Cuties
This French film should be a lesson for Netflix in How Not To Promote A Movie. It should also teach fans that directors and actors typically do not have a say in how movies are promoted. For the uninitiated, Cuties became a trending topic on Twitter (either a really good or really bad thing — in this case, it was the latter) after it released a movie poster which featured the movie’s four leads (preteen girls) posing in midriff-baring, short-skirt outfits. The backlash was swift. The L.A. Times reports that people called the promotional materials “disgusting,” “upsetting” and “sick” for sexualizing young girls. Netflix apologized and the director/ writer, Maïmouna Doucouré said she was stunned by the promotional image and received death threats in its wake.
The coming-of-age comedy-drama film won awards at Sundance and is supposed to be really great. So, let’s not judge it by that unfortunate promo image. The synopsis is less problematic: “Amy, 11 years old, tries to escape family dysfunction by joining a free-spirited dance clique named 'Cuties,' as they become aware of their own femininity through dance.” September 8
Photo: Courtesy of Glen Wilson/Netflix.
The Devil All The Time
Tom Holland isn’t little Peter Parker anymore. In this “explosive Midwestern Gothic tale,” according to Netflix, Holland plays Arvin Russell, a young man fighting evil forces that threaten him and his loved ones. The story, based on Donald Ray Pollock’s award-winning novel, spans two decades and is made up of sinister characters, like Robert Pattinson as a creepy evangelist and Sebastien Stan as a crooked sheriff.
Since Holland’s spot-on portrayal of sweet innocent do-gooder Parker (that’s Spider-Man to you), I have a natural inclination to want to protect him at all costs. I have a feeling this movie is going to be stressful for me, but I’ll stick it out because the cast is stacked. Riley Keough, Bill Skarsgard, and Jason Clarke also star. September 16
Photo: Courtesy of the Sundance Institute.
A Love Song for Latasha
I’ve been thinking a lot about the 1992 L.A. riots in the past few months. Mainly because, almost three decades later, not much seems to have changed. You probably know the story of Rodney King, who was brutally beaten by police. But like so many Black women before and after her, Latasha Harlins’ name and murder has been overshadowed and underreported. Harlins was 15 when she was wrongfully killed by a convenience store clerk Soon Ja Du, 13 days after the beating of Rodney King. Du was found guilty of voluntary manslaughter but received no jail time. This film is an oral history of Harlins' life and a celebration of her memory. Say Her Name. September 21
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Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.
Michelle Buteau: Welcome to Buteaupia
If it were up to me, Michelle Buteau would host everything. Buteau would be the lead in rom-coms, instead of the sidekick. Give Michelle Buteau her flowers! In her comedy special, the “scene-stealing queen of Netflix delivers the night out we all need right now.” That’s how Netflix is selling the special and I am all in.
Michelle Buteau: Welcome to Buteaupia is all about “letting loose with a goblet of frosé in hand.” Buteau promises to “deliver a dynamic hour of comedy that delves into parenthood, cultural difference, and the overlooked value of short men.” Sounds like the side-splitting laughs I’m hoping this special serves up will be right on time. September 29
Photo: Courtesy of SAEED ADYANI/NETFLIX.
Ratched
This series is — as Spike Lee said on the Oscar red carpet that time about Green Book— “not my cup of tea,” but I recognize that it is a highly anticipated series that a lot of people may be into, so this is a selfless pick just for you. This prequel to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest follows the character Nurse Ratched (Sarah Paulson), “a young nurse at a mental institution [who] becomes jaded, bitter and a downright monster to her patients.”
From the mind of American Horror Story helmer, Ryan Murphy, this origin story centres on one of the most disturbing characters in movie history. I am so much of a scaredy lil baby when it comes to horror shows or movies, I couldn’t even watch the trailer. You’re on your own, kids. September 18
Enola Holmes
Ever since she first picked up an eggo waffle on Stranger Things, and did all those freaky things with her eyes or whatever (I don’t watch scary things, remember!), Millie Bobby Brown was pegged to be the next child actor turned movie star. So far, she’s starred in the failed Godzilla reboot and not much else. Now, she’s got a burgeoning franchise coming and this one looks like it’s going to be a hit.
She plays Enola Holmes — Sherlock’s teen sister — a spunky girl railing against the antiquated standards set before her, who discovers her mother missing. Here’s where it gets interesting: “She sets off to find her, becoming a super-sleuth in her own right as she outwits her famous brother and unravels a dangerous conspiracy around a mysterious young Lord.” OK Millie! Let’s see what you got. Also, her older brother aka Hot Sherlock is played by Henry Cavill. September 23
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