The old Taylor Swift is very much dead, because a vengeful, naked robot version of herself fried her in the just-released music video for "...Ready For It?"
In the three-and-a-half minute spectacular, AI Swift struck back against Sith Taylor, menacing her all the while as if to say, "I'm so powerful and badass that I'm not even afraid of searing sky spears to hit my body, which is made entirely of metal."
If fans are correct in assuming the flashes are in direct reference to her feud with ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris, with whom she wrote Rihanna's "What You Came For," then the DJ better watch his back because Darth Taylor is not. messing. around.
Just look at how easy it was for her to shatter her glass cage and kill everyone who had held her captive.
For a song that's seemingly about sex — "in the middle of the night, baby / you should see the things we do" — this video is strangely violent, and I can't figure out why. Is the Real Taylor the one who is held and experimented on? Does she break free to expose her true self and get revenge? If so, do her captivators represent the media who desperately try to mold her into something she's not? Maybe!
I can see the speculation now: Taylor Swift Battles Cloaked Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, & Journalists In New Music Video.
Or, perhaps Swift was jealous of all of the attention the darling Porg from Star Wars was getting and wanted to reclaim her time as an evil Sith Queen destined to fight a shiny robot gone rogue. If you haven't noticed, she's really into battling herself lately, as evidenced in "Look What You Made Me Do."
Her obsession with pitting herself against herself is troubling, because Taylor, honey, it's starting to seem that you hate you. And as one commenter noticed, Mechanical Taylor cried a single tear at the end of her ass-kicking fest. Girl, if you don't want to purge the old you, you really don't have to!
Of course, I could be wrong about everything. Twitter, of course, has thoughts, written in mostly all caps...