20 Extra-Kooky L.A. Beauty Treatments You Need To Try!

In this town, you don't have to crane your neck too hard to find a lady whose had "work" done. Some of it's flawless—and, other times, it has a Medusa-like effect. But, because Lala has an vain open mind toward beauty treatments of all kinds, aestheticians and M.D.s alike strive to up the ante in research and technology for non-invasive procedures, too. Sometimes this tinkering bears off-the-wall results, but it's tough to tell the difference between a goofy gimmick and something worth doling out the dough for.
That being said, we made a slew of appointments to unearth uncommon ingredients, life-changing facials, and inspired workouts that yield anything but half-baked (or RHOBH!) results. From a bull-testicle hair mask (seriously) to a placenta facial, these might make you squirm, but we promise there's not a Death Becomes Her potion in the bunch. So, click through for our oddball approach to polishing your best assets. Then, get booking, baby!
Photos: Via The Broot; Lancer Dermatology
Off-The-Wall Spa Treatments
Bull-Testicle Broth Hair Mask, $35
When we first covered The Broot, sure, we thought the hair-mask bar was innovative, but this particular tress-treatment ingredient shocked us. Usage of the oddity has been passed down for generations in owner Samira Asemanfar's family, and her stylists actually bake the testicles to extract the essential nutrients that strengthen the hair shaft and prompt hair growth. Yep, it's ballsy, but we swear by it!
The Broot, 1626 Montana Avenue (near 17th Street); 310-230-5317.
Lancer Dermatology Placenta Facial, $500
Celebs are all over this edgy procedure, since it notably reduces signs of aging and bestows that rosy teenage glow. You may want to stop reading if you just downed your breakfast, but the magical results stem from a biological protein found in a living elixir of human placenta that's applied over the face, chest, earlobes, eyelids, and shoulders.
Lancer Dermatology, 440 North Rodeo Drive (near South Santa Monica Boulevard); 310-278-8444.
10-Carat Facial At Beverly Wilshire Spa, $800
This appointment is more glamorous than grody, but it's unorthodox nonetheless. After getting doused in a bevy of Natura Bissé products and crushed diamonds and the jewel's dust, this is the most youthful our skin has looked since the fifth grade. And, we know you'd rather see the dazzlers on your finger, but hey, they look good on your face, too!
Beverly Wilshire Spa, 9500 Wilshire Boulevard (at South Rodeo Drive); 310-275-5200.
Sonya Dakar's Snake-Venom Facial, $385
This baby has bite! Instead of going the Botox route, we suggest you hit up the celebrated Century City spa to paralyze those muscles with a synthetic snake-venom serum (they've dubbed it "syn-ake"). Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna, and Demi Moore are just a few bold-faced names who've opted out of injectables for the fang fanfare.
Sonya Dakar Clinic, 9975 Santa Monica Boulevard (at Moreno Drive); 310-553-7344.
Equinox Facials, prices vary
If you didn't know, this scene-y sweat factory has a state-of-the-art spa, too. It offers a 24-Carat Gold Facial, which with its gilt powder and silk extracts, brings on the bling for a Midas touch of radiant skin. Then, there's the Caviar Indulgence Signature Facial, blending roe (recognize this ingredient from the sushi bar?), marine DNA, collagen, quince extract, CoQ10, and sodium hyaluronate to put your most polished and firm face forward. Lastly, the club offers a super-sweet Chocolate Facial, infusing the edible's antioxidant effects to optimize elasticity.
Equinox, 10220 Constellation Boulevard (at Solar Way); 310-552-0420.
Ultherapy At DMH Aesthetics, prices vary
This non-surgical approach to a facelift uses an ultrasound to project your face's underlying tissue onto a screen to target areas where heat should be applied. The skin responds to the whole procedure by producing a load of collagen to lift and tighten up that facade. Gravity's got nothing on this technology!
DMH Aesthetics, 111 North Larchmont Boulevard (near West 1st Street); 888-963-9032.
The Peninsula Spa Body Treatments, prices vary
One of our top spas in L.A. for a regular old massage has a few funky gems hidden on its menu. The Esspresson Limon Firm and Fit treatment employs a lymphatic drainage technique combined with a South American coffee oil infused with cinnamon to purify and whip your limbs into shape. Another cool option is the Brazillian Propolis Body Wrap, which utilizes a healing factor found in Brazilian honeybees that's high in antioxidants and reaps holistic results. We can only imagine the shipping and receiving department's abundant load of exotic imports on the hotel's docks!
The Peninsula Spa, 9882 South Santa Monica Boulevard (near Charleville Boulevard); 310-551-2888.
CoolSculpting, prices vary
The pedestrian term for this avant-garde setup is "freeze the fat," and in essence, that's exactly what is happening. The chilling tool is an awesome alternative to liposuction with zero downtime, and we've personally seen it deplete post-pregnancy muffin-tops. This is how you handle love handles!
The Stevens Institute, 4644 Lincoln Boulevard, Suite 552 (near Bali Way); 877-298-9915.
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At-Home Outré Potions
Nails Inc. Magnetic Nail Polish, $16
This nifty nail paint promises to bestow a pro-mani via invisible metallic particles. All you have to do is stroke the shade over your 'beds, then hold a magnet over each digit — et voilà — a flawless finish!
Nails Inc. Magnetic Nail Polish, available at Sephora.
Circ Cell Skincare ABO +|- Blood Serum, $118
We've been applying this product to our tired eyes for months, and have never had less crows nesting on the corners of our face. The name might make you feel a little Freddy Krueger, but there's actually no real blood involved (the scientists were in search of a synthetic substitute while concocting the product) — just oxygen-rich ingredients that run beauty through our veins!
Circ Cell Skincare ABO +|- Blood Serum, available at Circ Cell Skincare.
Chidoriya Japanese Nightingale Droppings Brightening Enzyme Powder, $21.99
For centuries in Japan, this UV-treated birdie fecal matter has cleansed and brightened up the faces of Kabuki actors and geishas. Before your tummy totally turns, know that it's completely bacteria free and the natural enzyme powder is actually a great alternative to harsh hydroquinone. If you need a little extra persuasion to get over the gross factor, we hear Vicki Beckham packs it in her medicine cabinet.
Chidoriya Japanese Nightingale Droppings Brightening Enzyme Powder, available at Chidoriya.
Dr. Jart+ Premium Time Returning Serum, $54
It's all about the escargot with this anti-wrinkle ointment. Containing 77% snail mucin (we know, eew!), Katie Holmes thanks this product for her dewy facade. Use it for just one week and slime will be your skin's smooth new BFF.
Dr. Jart+ Premium Time Returning Serum, available at Sephora.
SkinShift DNA Test Kit, $299
This product takes home the science fair trophy for sure! First, you swab the inside of the cheek to collect your unique genetic material, seal it up, fill out a quick Q&A, then send it to creator Dr. Ruthie Harper's mothership. SkinShift's technicians will determine your personalized product plan to optimize your face's rosiest potential.
SkinShift DNA Test Kit, available at SkinShift.
Manuka Doctor Bee Venom Face Mask, $84.95
If you're allergic to bees, steer clear of this blend (no one needs a My Girl beauty moment!). The venom fights aging, fosters cell growth, combats scars, and even helps prevent pimples. Fun fact: The company harvests its stingers in New Zealand and has a tight relationship with its keepers, so it can source every product back to individual hives.
Manuka Doctor Bee Venom Face Mask, available at Manuka Doctor.
Fresh Beauty Market Wrinkle Butter With Earthworm Complex, $29.95
Whether you prefer to consider it "castings" or straight up poo, that's up to you, but this worm-dropping compound yields results, folks! Scentless (thank goodness) and a stimulant for skin much like fertilizer is to plants, this pure extract may just be the next BB cream.
Fresh Beauty Market Wrinkle Butter With Earthworm Complex, available at Fresh Beauty Skincare.
Ciaté Caviar Manicure, $25
While attempting to craft the perfect 3-D nails for a cover shoot, this brand's creative director crafted an egg-stra-luxe look! To score nails that resemble Sprinkles cupcakes, all you have to do is apply two coats, and while still wet, pepper the pearls over each digit. There you have it, oh-so-appetizing nail art!
Ciaté Caviar Manicure, available at Nordstrom.
Betty Beauty Fun Betty Color For The Hair Down There, $12.03
In case you ever have a SATC Samantha moment (we know there are many, but we bet you can guess which we're referencing), here's your savior. Basically, if you want the rug to match the drapes, Betty's got plenty of hues just for you. Who knows, maybe you want to pick up a hot-pink pack for V-Day?
Betty Beauty Fun Betty Color For The Hair Down There, available at Amazon.
Mothers Moon Breast Milk Soap, $3
We're not being freakish here, but this lather is the ultimate soap for dry skin — and Dr. Oz happens to agree! A mix of all-natural breast milk (don't ask us how they get it), olive oil, honey, and glycerine, it's brewed on a full moon and rests for two more lunas before it's ready to roll. The lactic acid it contains is also an organic exfoliant and the lactoferrin helps clear acne.
Mothers Moon Breast Milk Soap, available at Mothers Moon.
Photo: Via Iobella
Wayward Workouts
Iobella, package prices vary individually
The Argentine and Swiss answer to hot yoga, you'll still have to do some exercise to battle the bulge at this new Santa Monica gym — but with the aid of a heated, oxygen-rich chamber pumping 98-degree air. Add in bioelectrical bursts, and you'll be doing double-duty: detoxing and toning. Log in 30 minutes three times a week, and you'll nab an other-worldly body! Obviously not recommended for the claustrophobic.
Iobella, 507 Wilshire Boulevard (at 5th Street); 310-579.2078.
Shape House, $45
Sign a waiver, sip some alkaline agua, and get ready for your shape to shift! This urban sweat lodge uses infrared light to go deep within the skin to fight flab and stress. Injured athletes and gym-phobes adore the routine because the same amount of perspiration is produced if you jogged a full ten miles, and the heart gets the same workout of a 12-mile sprint. During the 55-minute sweat, you can kick your feet up inside a metallic sleeping bag, groove to tunes, or even tune in to a TED Talk.
Shape House, 434 North Larchmont Boulevard (near Rosewood Avenue); 323-467-3000.

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