The best things in life are free: air, pictures of puppies, and celebrity drama. While there's plenty of pettiness to keep us occupied — including Taylor Swift vs. The World, Kim Kardashian West vs. Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber vs. Marilyn Manson, and Kendall Jenner vs. Sofia Richie — perhaps the best kind of feuds are the ones in which no one actually gets hurt, like the current beef between Drew Barrymore and Jake Gyllenhaal.
It all started on Wednesday when late show host and infamous instigator James Corden asked Barrymore to rank three of her former co-stars — Jake Gyllenhaal, Adam Sandler, and Hugh Grant — from most to least talented. If she refused to do it, she'd be forced to eat a turkey testicle. Unwilling to gobble turkey balls (understandable!), the actress listed her faves as follows: Sandler, Grant, and Gyllenhaal. Warning: The below video is gross.
AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT
Within minutes, swarms of angry fans started tweeting that Barrymore thinks Gyllenhaal is the worst actor on the planet. Reporters followed suit.
Drew Barrymore ranked Adam Sandler as more talented then both Hugh Grant and Jake Gyllenhaal and honestly wtf Fite Me™
— m'baku that ass up (@imperator_Q) March 22, 2018
how dare Drew Barrymore rank Jake Gyllenhaal the least talented out of Adam Sandler and Hugh Grant pic.twitter.com/zj1j1fb3ea
— nina (@jakeisbaetho) March 22, 2018
Me @ Drew Barrymore disrespecting film icon Jake Gyllenhaal pic.twitter.com/4nXJxY50Hy
— Miya (@meoohmiya) March 22, 2018
Look, I get being upset about anyone ranking Sandler superior to Gyllenhaal, but to be fair, Barrymore and Gyllenhaal have only worked together once, and that was 17 years ago. (Side note: How is Donnie Darko 17 years old? This is not OK.)
Anyway, Barrymore noticed the backlash and felt compelled to make things right by carrying a sign reading "I [Love] Jake Gyllenhaal" to the season 2 premiere of Santa Clarita Diet in Los Angeles on Thursday night. While chatting with reporters on the red carpet, Barrymore explained that she wanted to show her appreciation to Gyllenhaal for helping her avoid a slimy and unpleasant situation.
"Well, I mean, he helped me get out of eating a turkey testicle so that was the point," she told reporters about her decision to celebrate Gyllenhaal on her big night, according to People. "It was very sweet and light-hearted, and very full of explanatory how much I feel bad for saying this and how if I see him next time I'm going to explain it,"
She added that she was disappointed to see how "shallow" people were in the aftermath and bemoaned the headlines exclaiming that she thought "he's the least talented person" ever.
"I'm like, 'Does anyone understand fucking context?'" she asked. "And you know they're not going to take the time to read the small print because we live in a goddamn ADD, two-second society. So this is me setting the goddamn record straight. It's my premiere and I'm making it about him just so he knows everything is OK."
AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT
In sum: Do not put words in Drew Barrymore's mouth, unless you want to get verbally torn apart. (And, be grateful that she doesn't actually eat people like her Santa Clarita Diet character, because then she may have literally torn us all limb from limb.)
Refinery29 reached out to Gyllenhaal's reps for comment.