TEOTFW Is Not La La Land, Thank You Very Much

Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.
Warning: The following post contains spoilers for The End of the F*cking World on Netflix.
It came to my attention via a Netflix Instagram yesterday that The End of the F*cking World was being compared to La La Land. (See the Instagram below.)
Now, Netflix tends to be unhinged on social media — I shall never forget its harsh words to Hulu back in April — but this is inconceivable. The End of the F*cking World is a love story about two British teens who first run away from home, then later run away from a horrifically bloody murder scene. One of them, James (Alex Lawther), is pretty positive he's a psychopath, and he's pretty positive he wants to kill Alyssa (Jessica Barden), his fellow runaway. The Instagram in question takes a photo of Alyssa and James and adds the caption, "La La Land (2016)." Which, I guess, is supposed to imply that The End of the F*cking World is like La La Land. Netflix has also compared the show to Bonnie & Clyde, which is a halfway decent comparison, but I'm not here to get into that.
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I'm here to talk about La La Land and The End of the F*cking World, two things that are not alike at all. Here's why.
1. La La Land doesn't begin with the line, "I'm pretty sure I'm a psychopath."
2. Nor does La La Land then involve a conversation wherein James tells Alyssa, "Fuck off."
3. La La Land doesn't involve a will-they-or-won't they storyline about two lesbian cops.
4. And, yeah, I'll say it, The End of the F*cking World has a way better soundtrack.
5. La La Land does not involve the sudden murder of a mustachioed rapist.
6. Alyssa would probably punch the next person who tried to explain jazz to her.
7. Actually, while we're here, Mia (Emma Stone) should have at least spilled a drink on whats-his-name (Ryan Gosling). (I don't care to look it up. You can go on IMDb if you want!)
8. La La Land didn't examine the damaged inner psyches of two modern teens.
9. Alyssa would never make a one-woman show.
10. Actually, maybe she would. But it would be really fucking weird, and I would want to be in the audience.
11. La La Land wasn't a soul-crushing love story about the perils of teenagerhood and life.
12. La La Land did not explore issues pertaining to consent.
13. The End of the F*cking World is the darkest teen comedy this side of the aughts, while La La Land is an Oscar contender also-ran that tried its hardest to explain jazz via Gosling.
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14. I actually re-watched The End of the F*cking World, and I shall never re-watch La La Land.

*cue synchronized dance sequence* #teotfw

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