You know 2017 has been a year like no other when we got confirmation that the Pentagon had a secret $22 million program to investigate the existence of unidentified flying objects and it was swept out of the news cycle in a couple of days. Despite this, we still can't stop thinking about UFOs. Also, in other news, both aliens and Mulder and Scully are real, and the truth really is out there.
We're not the only ones that have aliens on the brain. The residents of the greater Los Angeles area were treated to beauty and panic when a reused SpaceX rocket, Falcon 9, launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base (fun note: that base is where this writer was born). The rocket was sending smaller satellites into orbit above the Earth. As the smaller satellites detached, the smoke trails left a dazzling visual display in the night sky that looks suspiciously like a human sperm cell. And Los Angeliños were completely convinced that there must be some extraterrestrial trickery afoot because if there's one thing we've learned from the X-Files, it's that the government always denies these things.
Sure, it's pretty. But, according to Twitter, it's also aliens.
Rapper Rae Srummurd posted a video of himself extremely concerned that flying saucers and/or fighter jets are invading Los Angeles. "Look at this shit," he repeats, with almost a vague note of existential fear in his voice.
This is what we want to know. These days, we can't be too careful when we heard the words "launch," "North," and "Korea."
Orlando Bloom is excited? Excited?
Chemtrails, because all we need something else to be afraid of.
Even Instagram influencers know what's up.
You and the rest of us, Chelsea Handler.
Evan Rachel Wood with the nihilism we all feel.
L.A. mayor Eric Garcetti giving us the "official" explanation. Okay. Sure.
Elon Musk, who owns SpaceX, gives us the TRUTH.