Following the heartbreaking loss of her twin daughters, former Bachelor contestant Vienna Girardi is opening up about the ordeal. Girardi announced the news on Facebook back in August, revealing that they suffered from TTTS, or Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, which can happen when two twins share one placenta, and one of the twins ends up taking more nutrients than the other. At just 18 weeks, her amniotic sacs were ruptured, and but the twins were too premature to survive. Now, she's ready to talk about the experience, appearing on The Doctors on Thursday to explain the aftermath of the loss.
"For the most part, I try my hardest not to think about it, but everyday I get in the elevator and there’s a lady in my building who’s pregnant and I stare at her belly the entire elevator ride up," Girardi said, according to Us Weekly. "Every time I hold my goddaughter or hold my niece, I don’t want to let them go. Everyday there’s just constant reminders that I’m trying so hard to try to move past it, but it seems impossible to stop thinking about it."
This, of course, caused her to worry that she'd never be able to have children.
"So when I woke up, I remember one of the first things talking to my mom and asking her was 'Am I going to be able to get pregnant again?'" she continued. "She looked at me and she said 'Yes, the doctor said everything went smoothly and you will be able to get pregnant.'"
Right now, however, Girardi is just working on healing. She selflessly donated the twins tissue so doctors could research the condition and hopefully find better treatments so future mothers don't have to suffer the same loss.
"This was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life," Girardi wrote in her original announcement. "But I knew my little girls were in Heaven already and the pain I feel I would never want any mother to ever feel."
Watch the first part of her appearance on The Doctors below: