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A Germaphobe's Guide To Testing Makeup Samples

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Photographed by Erin Yamagata.
Unless it was a solid (and preferably, pre-taxed) $1 million, no amount of money would be enough to convince me to test an opened tube of sample mascara from a makeup counter. The thought alone elicits the same skeeved-out feeling I get when I think about soaking in my grimy New York City bathtub, where thousands of butts have sat before mine.
It's not that I'm a complete germaphobe, but I do have super sensitive skin that freaks out any time I even consider letting my roommate borrow an eyeshadow palette — so mindlessly swiping on communal lipstick used by 138 other people before me is not my idea of a fun time. The thing is, you shouldn't have to avoid makeup testers like the plague from some apocalyptic zombie nightmare. Samples are important in making sure a product works with your skin tone and type, which is why employees at stores like Sephora, Ulta, and MAC are trained on hygienic practices to keep them clean.
Still, that doesn't stop a few bad apples from not following the rules, and that's where this guide comes in. Ahead, the no-B.S. rules to putting this shit on your face — because you know you want to anyway — so you can get a smoky eye, and not a stye.
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