Ever since the term started floating around the Urban Dictionary and YouTube in 2009, the "basic bitch" archetype has spoken to countless people. We all know someone like this: She counts down to Starbucks's pumpkin spice latte release date each fall. She wears yoga pants for every occasion. She blames her relationship difficulties on Mercury being in retrograde. The truth is, there's a little bit of her in all of us, irrespective of gender. And now, we can all carry a little bit of her wherever we go, thanks to Xyrena's Basic Bitch Perfume, Cosmopolitan reports.
Its creator Killian Wells thought long and hard about what a basic bitch would smell like. The result is "the definitive celebretory fragrance for basic bitches everywhere (both guys and girls alike)," according to its product description. "But in an ironic twist of fate our olfactory 'basic starter-kit' mashup is anything but #basic. Notes include pumpkin spice latte, pages from a worn out Nicholas Sparks paperback, boxed merlot, suede Ugg®’s, fresh artisan bagel (obvi gluten-free), cold-pressed kale juice, vanilla froyo, velour tracksuit fabric, Sunday Funday mimosa, nail art lacquer, and fresh cut grass from Coachella that’ll have every Basic Bitch hashtagging #TakeMeBack!"
Xyrena's other scents are equally unique (and, dare we say, non-basic). Dark Ride is inspired by "water ride staples like Pirates of the Caribbean, Jurassic Park and Splash Mountain," with hints of chlorine, flog, mildew, and "damp ozone" (yum). Sneakerhead's got "rubber sole, industrial glue, leather, and textile" and can actually be used on worn-out shoes to restore their shoey scent.
You can buy the Basic Bitch perfume for $52 on Xyren's website, while the Dark Ride and Sneakerhead are $64 and $48, respectively. They're not cheap, but we suppose it's a small price to pay for the bottled essence of a Disney World ride or a PSL.