For many moms, the first weeks at home with a new baby can be stressful and terrifying, exhausting and lonely. I try to be careful when I bring up our arrangement, because it can be like rubbing salt in someone’s episiotomy wound. Only 60% of Americans can access FMLA for parental leave, and paid leave is only available to 13%
. I know how rare it is for a family to be able to have both parents at home together. As a freelancer, I'm in the no-paid-leave camp (no formalized leave at all, really). Instead, I scaled back my writing when my daughter arrived, and have been slowly easing back in as time allows. That's one of a few intentional choices that brought us here, in combination with sheer dumb luck and a progressive family leave policy from my husband's employer.