Accepting Men Compliments Viral Tweet Women Body Love

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It's an unfortunate truth that when a man compliments a woman, those compliments aren't always sincere. Often, they come with an expectation of how the woman should respond or the sick, icky feeling of knowing that a stranger was objectifying your body.

And sometimes a really weird thing happens when a woman agrees with a man's compliment — he gets mad. Feminista Jones, an author and activist, pointed out this phenomenon on Twitter last week.

Piss a man off today: Tell him you agree with his compliment of you.
— TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 12, 2017

In an epic tweet thread, she details the weird way some men respond when women show a little self-confidence.

"Just say Thank You" they cry, not knowing what to do after a woman agrees with them.
— TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

I've had SEVERAL men tell me they found "thanks" an offensive reply to a compliment given to a woman ???????????
— TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

Jones wrote that she often experiences men who catcall her on the street and get angry when she says "thanks" and keeps walking.

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That goes back to what most women were saying abt their experiences w/this. The expectation's that women should show no self-appreciation
— TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

She's not just existing in some weird bubble — many women replied to Jones's post with their own stories of men who got upset when they agreed with a compliment. Some of them even included screenshots.

@FeministaJones Works every time pic.twitter.com/uUWMAnCtGv
— ? (@afrawlmiau) May 12, 2017

@FeministaJones old but still relevant pic.twitter.com/PFim8UAXQN
— alex (@girls0nfilm) May 12, 2017

@FeministaJones LOL one of my fave past times since college:
Dude: "You're beautiful"
Me: "I know."
Dude: "!!! ugly bitch"
Like, I have a mirror lol byee
— Awake Black Woman (@AwakeBlackWoman) May 12, 2017

@FeministaJones EVERYTIME!
DUDE: You look nice today.
ME: Thank you! I completely agree...
DUDE: pic.twitter.com/zDc9Ez6xMw
— ☀️ Chanel Strangé ☀️ (@CocoBelleChanel) May 12, 2017

@FeministaJones This dude, trying to talk to me at a bus station last summer: "You're very pretty."

Me: "I know. Thanks."

Him: pic.twitter.com/LDFsDvkizP
— Michelle Obama Jr. (@MonaFeesa) May 12, 2017

This isn't the first time someone has pointed out that men can't handle it when a woman agrees that she's beautiful/has a nice body/has a beautiful smile/etc. In 2015, BuzzFeed wrote about an 18-year-old woman who did a social experiment in which she agreed to the compliments men gave her and then posted their responses to Tumblr. (Spoiler alert: many of the men said something along the lines of "jk...I take my compliment back.")

Many of them also said that she was vain for saying "I know" when they complimented her beauty in some way.

Jones told BuzzFeed that she had seen stories like this, and that compelled her to add to the conversation.

"It's not a new idea, but in my own experience when [a man] complimented me and I say 'I agree,' they get upset," Jones told BuzzFeed. "It’s the idea that they bestow the compliment on you, and you’re not supposed to be aware of it."

By the end of her thread, Jones perfectly sums up exactly why men get all up in arms when a woman accepts or agrees with their compliments.

Men as teachers. Men as validation. Men as approval. Men as decision-makers of what is "hot". Men as arbiters of praise. Men in control.
— TheDevil's Sidechick (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017

Because, really, compliments that come from men who then get angry that you agree with the compliment aren't about you at all — they're about them, and their ability to have power over your self-worth.

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