Instagram may sometimes make motherhood look like it's all colorful birthday parties and perfectly balanced lunch boxes, but lately, more and more Instagrammers have gotten real about the tougher aspects of parenting. One of the latest is Shannon Hankes, who posted this week about the pep talk she gives herself when she feels like she just can't get through another day of being a mom, Pop Sugar reports.
"Moms, I know it's hard," she wrote. "Having to get up multiple times during the night and in the wee hours of the morning. Having these little people rely on you to keep them alive and nourished. We teach the hard lessons, and try to do the right things. Even when we aren't sure what the right thing is. Then forgiving yourself when you get it wrong."
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But Hankes wants others to know you can mess up a million times and still be a good parent. "You have the soul to love them, not just on their hard days, but your hard days too," she said. "Even when you are exhausted, you have the heart to wake up every morning and do it all over again."
Given all the things moms face criticism for, from leaving their kids at home on a night out to not breastfeeding, it's common for mothers to feel insecure about their abilities. That's probably why posts like Hankes's that reassure others they're good moms are so popular.
"From one exhausted mom to another, you're doing great," one mom named Cierra Lyn Fortner wrote in a viral Facebook post a few months back. "Have that melt down, let your kids eat the crap out of that cereal, and take care of yourself always."
Another named Bunmi Laditan gained the Internet's attention last year when she reassured moms, "Take a deep breath and relax. As long as your kids are generally happy, then you are doing it right."
As posts like these show, you're not alone if you feel like a bad mom — but that doesn't mean you are one. Despite all the challenges that come with parenting, people are triumphing over them every single day.
Hankes puts things into perspective by reminding herself she'll probably be missing these trying times one day, when her kids are all grown up.
"You blink and they are eight," she wrote. "Then 28. And then they are parents, resembling [you]. So take it in, mama. Let them climb into bed with you any hour of the night. Sing that song they requested for the 10th time. Hold them a little tighter when all they want is to shower with you and feel your skin against theirs. Maybe in raising children you lose your mind a little bit. But, boy, do you find your soul! Embrace the exhaustion. The overwhelming. The hard days. And all the joy."