Trump Went "Vroom" In A Truck Like A Big Boy

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Because apparently sending his lawyers after a teenager who made a cat website wasn't quite juvenile enough for our fair president, Trump hit new levels of toddlerhood with a thrilling big-boy ride in a real-life vroom-vroom truck today! And Buzzfeed has since turned it into possibly the best (and simultaneously most depressing?) children's book of all time. But even that brilliant and highly educational narrative pales in comparison to the memes — oh, the memes.

Because there was apparently nothing else important that was supposed to happen today, Trump took this opportunity to meet with trucking CEOs a.k.a. mostly spend time pretending to drive a Mack truck that was parked on the White House lawn. In doing so, he regaled viewers with a repertoire of hand gestures and facial expressions so varied, they nearly rival Winona Ryder at the SAG Awards.

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"I am honored to welcome all of the many truckers and...industry leaders to the White House," Trump said, according to The Washington Post. "America depends on you, and you work very hard for America." Trump even wore an "I Heart Trucks" button on his lapel for the occasion.

"He tooted the horn at least six times," Time reports. And neither journalism nor America would ever be the same again.

Below, the tweets that say it all.

oh my god give @davidmackau the Caldecott award for children's literature right now https://t.co/agrZHoorbW
— Hayes Brown (@HayesBrown) March 23, 2017

TRUMP: CHOO CHOO!!

BANNON: No, Donnie, that's a truck.

TRUMP: Nooo! It's a Choo Choo!

BANNON: *sigh* Fine, it's a choo choo.

TRUMP: YAY! pic.twitter.com/aL9xulM1hG
— Eric Schmeltzer (@JustSchmeltzer) March 23, 2017

live look at Trump driving America off a cliff pic.twitter.com/9gbIikNPFp
— Sam Laird (@samcmlaird) March 23, 2017

pic.twitter.com/4DAWDzKke7
— march sadness (@rachelmillman) March 23, 2017

"Well it looks like ol' Boss Trump learned them Duke boys are slicker than a sow's underside. But that's how it goes here in Hazzard county" pic.twitter.com/Jz2J7ny1cU
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) March 23, 2017

? We got Trump in a truck... truck... truck... ?
? Tie like what... what... what... ? pic.twitter.com/DVsQQO9jrz
— Josh Tucker (@joshbtucker) March 23, 2017

Trump in a truck rocking out to 3 Doors Down per yooj pic.twitter.com/HXwGjShLZN
— Lamont Price (@LPizzle) March 23, 2017

AIDE: “should someone tell him about the repeal bill”

AIDE 2: "no." pic.twitter.com/fGpfFsh5gM
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) March 23, 2017

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

Don't let it be forgot that for one brief shining moment...there was a Camelot. pic.twitter.com/0ftomAppMd
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) March 23, 2017

And Trump resigned the presidency that evening, having fulfilled his lifetime dream of being allowed to sit in a truck
— Barry Petchesky (@barry) March 23, 2017

We can dream, can't we?