I fight an internal battle every time I hit the bakery aisle at my local supermarket. I have never not been tempted to buy those frosted sugar cookies. The buttercream frosting, the fluffy, cake-like texture of the cookie...what's there not to love?
Apparently a lot, according to some (wrong) people on the internet. Twitter is currently locked in a war over the best cookies ever, and I'm already screen-printing my #TeamDelicious T-shirt.
Buzzfeed reported the drama. Apparently, the whole thing started because Taylor Haugen, a 21-year-old from Wisconsin, dared to call the delicious cookies "bottom of the barrel." She wrote:
"its that time of year again when stores sell these bottom of the barrel, flavorless piece of shit things they have the nerve to call cookies"
AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT
its that time of year again when stores sell these bottom of the barrel, flavorless piece of shit things they have the nerve to call cookies pic.twitter.com/tTA8Jx1kBl
— t (@taysux) February 13, 2017
I am calling Haugen out for all of the things, because, one, the cookies are sold year-round as they damn well should be. Secondly, if they're flavorless, then all sugar cookies are because THAT IS THE FLAVOR, TAYLOR.
My fellow humans with working taste buds took to Twitter to chew Haugen out:
@taysux ok who hurt u
— Zachary Jacob (@zachdegaetano) February 14, 2017
@taysux @ibrandx_ delete this blasphemous tweet. They're the god of all cookies.
— Schweinsteiger (@paulstiga215) February 14, 2017
@taysux @cariebaer wtf no these are so good what are you on
— Gabe Ellis (@hoovellis) February 14, 2017
@leilanars @taysux she has no idea what she's talking about and I feel very attacked rn
— Kalena Onaga (@KalenaOnaga) February 14, 2017
@_racheljanee BECAUSE THEY WERE HAND CRAFTED BY GOD HIMSELF HOW DARE SHE
— Stephanie Wills (@willy2122) February 14, 2017
Yet others dared to supply alternative facts about the cookies:
@taysux they are the worst
— ?ↃᴙYꙅTAl? (@CelestialxFirex) February 14, 2017
@Dur_P0WER1 @taysux they're DISGUSTING
— nessa (@nessssa__43) February 14, 2017
@ConcernedCactus no the cookies got no taste HAHAHA
— nelly (@tobiosgf) February 14, 2017
@taysux these are so nasty
— thot pocket (@eeveemo) February 14, 2017
The audacity of some people. I'd be stressed about this whole thing, but, hey: more cookies for me.