Yeah and it's been hell!! He's messy as shit! He drinks out of the fucking carton and leaves the door open when he's taking a dump!! And this is when he's at MY house!!! He's already calling me brother and has driven a wedge between myself and my real brother Wyatt who now won't speak to me.. he insists my kids call him uncle B and lost my youngest at the Santa Monica pier for 2 days.. thank god for amber alert.. my mom's overtly flirting with him! Shes wearing these little nighties around the house now?! But ALL DAY!! Like at 3pm! And Pa just keeps saying "All right!! It's Brad Pitt!!" Anyway not going well.. so BP.. it's time to move out man.. I need my life back dog.. I'll smoke one more bowl and then get the fuck out.. we thank you.. oh and I found your medical bracelet so I'll get that back to you.. ok..
"It's been hell!!" Oliver wrote in a tongue in cheek response to a Star magazine cover claiming that Pitt is moving in with his sister, Kate Hudson. "He's messy as shit! He drinks out of the fucking carton and leaves the door open when he's taking a dump!! And this is when he's at MY house!!!"
Rumors of a secret coupling between the two stars began swirling last December, and though they remain baseless, many are loving the idea of the fictitious match. Including, it seems, the tabloids that have gotten Oliver hilariously up in arms.
After jokingly calling out Pitt for bad babysitting, Oliver brought his mother Goldie Hawn into the mix, complaining that the Snatched star was “overtly flirting with him” and won't stop “wearing these little nighties around the house.” But don't worry about her relationship with longtime love Kurt Russell — he's apparently fine with it: “And Pa just keeps saying ‘All right!! It’s Brad Pitt!!'”
A sentiment with which we can't help but agree. Well played, Oliver.