Bloody Hell, We Maybe, Almost Lost The Queen To A Late-Night Stroll

Today we can be thankful that the queen of England still exists. I mean, every day that there is still an adorable yet regal monarch reigning across the pond, we should be thankful. But a recent story recounted in The Times of London indicates that we should be particularly grateful these days for her presence — allegedly, the queen was almost shot by her own guard. Britain's favorite matriarch was reportedly taking a stroll through the palace garden at 3 a.m., as one does when one is queen. Palace guards weren't informed that she would be out, however, and jumped to scary-trespasser-in-the-palace conclusions when they heard a rustling the in bushes. (I'm decorating a bit here for dramatic effect. If I knew the layout of the Kensington Palace gardens, I would be there right now.) Fortunately, these are cordial British folk, and a guard kindly inquired after the source of said rustling. When the queen named herself, he allegedly responded, “Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you." Her majesty, always the genteel sort, reportedly replied: "That’s quite all right. Next time I’ll ring through beforehand so you don’t have to shoot me." As People points out, the British newspaper did not indicate when this incident occurred. In fact, the major U.K. publication doesn't even cite anyone. The anecdote appeared in the newspaper's "Times Diary" column, and could very well be false. The queen is famously private, as is her prerogative; she's a fucking queen — so the story cannot really be confirmed or denied. Regardless, we choose to believe it's true. Because isn't a world filled with late-night jaunts through gardens and very polite guards a lovely one to inhabit?