We are gathered here today to break a harsh truth: Rihanna is simply unable to wink.
Buzzfeed UK staff writer Ben Henry has done a deep dive into the singer's troubling history with closing one eye at a time.
? Rihanna can't wink: A mini thread ?
— broke but woke (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Let's start with a baseline of what it means to wink. A true wink would require Rih to close one eye, while leaving the other open. It is usually done in a flirtatious or shady manner.
No that's two eyes Robyn pic.twitter.com/nIDRMLK4J6
— broke but woke (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
This is not, according to Henry's investigation, what Rihanna has been doing.
It started with such hope but nope, that's a blink pic.twitter.com/GzwwcjyaPz
— broke but woke (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
There's a lot Rihanna is doing right in these attempts to wink. Her charm is apparent. In many instances, she's got the right amount of coy and cuteness. But still, both of her eyes close each time she "winks." That means, as Henry astutely points out, she is blinking.
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This looks like a wink but on closer inspection... nope, blink pic.twitter.com/pOwy2hxl48
— broke but woke (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
Henry has named the culprit: Rihanna's right eye. It simply must join in on the left eye's fun.
She goes in with her left eye BUT THAT GODDAMN RIGHT ONE can't let it go and live. pic.twitter.com/E3XIdcMxTH
— broke but woke (@NotAgainBen) August 26, 2016
There you have it. Rihanna can indeed saunter out of restaurants with glasses of wine. She can remind us all that she's the baddest in the game. But winking, it seems, is not one of Robyn Rihanna Fenty's many talents.