John Oliver Invents His Own New Beauty Trend

Step aside, Kardashians — there's a new trendsetter in the beauty world...and his name is John Oliver. Unlikely? Very. Are we into it? Hell, yeah. On a Last Week Tonight segment this past Sunday, Oliver announced that he was "about to give the least anticipated makeup tutorial of all time," before proceeding to reveal his patented, super-exclusive, never-talked-about contouring technique, ingeniously dubbed "Johntouring." The key, though, is no secret to anyone with an ounce of makeup understanding: "It's about blending... It's about blends," he explains, referencing an image of himself covered in concealer and bronzer. Well, practice makes perfect — we're confident he'll get the hang of it eventually. The segment continues with Oliver reading fan mail, a.k.a. YouTube comments. One person calls out Oliver's "magnificent eyebrows"; another equates his arches to "alien caterpillars [that] move independently of each other." But, Oliver justifies, caterpillars fall under the category of magnificent. So there. Feeling confident, he decides to take the millennial patron saint of brows to task: "Sorry Cara Delevingne, I'm the new queen of eyebrow thickness," he jokes. "Step off! Step off, Cara." We're staying out of that faux feud, but we will say that if Oliver decides to transition his career in the direction of beauty vlogger, he has our full support.