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You Can Now Mail Your Favorite Phallic Emoji IRL

Watch out Kim Kardashian, something else is about to break the internet. The penis emoji, perhaps better known as the phallic eggplant, is taking a major step forward into the real world. You can now anonymously send someone a real-life penis emoji through the mail, complete with a personalized, handwritten message.
Photo: Courtesy eggplantmail.com.
Hilarious? Weird? Genius? We’re going with all the above. The pitch from the company behind the stunt, Eggplantmail: “100% Phallic. 100% Anonymous. 100% Disturbing.” We can't say we disagree. Through Eggplantmail, you can send a personalized eggplant anywhere in the world for the price of $10. It seems pretty steep for a simple eggplant, but all the laughter and joy (and confusion) it would undoubtedly bring upon its arrival could definitely be worth it. Also, think of the Instagram potential. You can use this phallic fruit in a number of different ways: breakups, makeups, April Fools' (which is coming up sooner than you think), flirty messages, or just for laughs between friends. On the personalized eggplant, you have a 16 word limit; so, think carefully about your message. If you do happen to be on the receiving end of a real-life eggplant emoji, remember: This is a memento to be treasured, not consumed. Not that it won’t be fresh — the eggplant should arrive between 24 and 48 hours after the order is placed — but we're not entirely sure what the packaging situation is for these fruits and that ink may not be ideal for ingestion. However, if you decide to make some spinach eggplant lasagna anyway, we won't tell.

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