Amber Rose's particular brand of IDGAF feminism isn't for everyone. In fact, she'd probably prefer you to call her a bad bitch. So, say what you want about the model-author — she's nasty, brash, rude, famous for nothing, annoying, vulgar, lame. Or call her a slut. Seriously, go ahead, because Rose has news for us: She doesn't give a shit what we think about her. In a new essay for Time magazine, Rose unequivocally and unapologetically declares that after letting other peoples' judgements — namely, slut-shaming — tear her apart for so long, she refuses let the labels and insults have any bearing on her life.
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She explains that she's been called a slut since high school, but it got worse after her split from Wiz Khalifa. ("People would say things like, 'Who would ever love you? You were a stripper. Why are you in relationships.'") More insidious is the widespread double standard that so often comes with being a woman:
"After my ex-husband Wiz Khalifa and I got a divorce, I’d go out for a date at a restaurant like any normal single human and people would say, 'Man, she’s such a ho. She’s out at restaurants with guys.' Then they would see my ex-husband with a bunch of women. They would say, 'He’s the man! That’s so cool.' So when I went on a date, I’m a whore, and when he’s piling girls in a car, he’s the man? There’s something wrong here."
Rose is also careful to note that women are guilty of making sexist, hurtful comments about her, too. "I realized that I can’t make everyone believe [I'm a good person]... They’re still going to have their own opinions," she writes of her turn-around. "And you know what? Now I sleep like a baby at night." Of course, her timely piece comes on the heels of a pretty one-sided Twitter feud between ex-boyfriend Kanye West and ex-husband Wiz Khalifa (each has made slut-shaming comments about her in the past) that Rose tweeted her way into after West referred to her as a "stripper" who "trap[ped]" Wiz by having a child with him. (West's tweets have since been deleted.)
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We'd be remiss not to point out that we've had our issues with Rose's proclamations about womanhood before. ("If you’re giving a blow job and you don’t want to swallow, get him to give you a facial instead. Guys love the money shot.") Those critiques stand. And it's hard to take her call for women to stop judging each other at face value when she's said things like this. But Rose's message here is loud and clear, and we are 100% behind it. Our culture needs to stop celebrating men for their sexual relations while shaming women for theirs. "Slut" needs to be removed from our vocabulary. Don't give anyone the power to dim your light. Live your life. Be yourself.
"What I’ve realized is that, when you care too much, you’re not living at your full potential. When you really stop caring about what people say, that’s when you really start living. It’s such an amazing feeling. It’s about loving who you are, owning who you are and knowing that it’s O.K. to live your life how you want to live it."
Basically, do you, 'cause haters gonna hate. You can read Rose's essay in full over at Time.