Whatever it is you're doing, stop it. Take your lunch early. Grab your smartphone and a pen and pad to jot down notes. Jaden Smith has a new interview out, and the quotes are too good to not record.
To be perfectly honest, we're not quite sure what to make of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith's 17-year-old son's candid chat with GQ. He comes off as equal parts Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable, and precocious teen in the interview, and it's all due to soundbites that seem made up but very real. We mean, what do you say to a millionaire's kid who compares himself to Galileo and Banksy and builds pyramids in his spare time? His confidence is alarming, yet also oddly charming. If nothing else, these quotes are so ridiculous that they're genius and will be turned into memes by the afternoon.
Behold, Jaden Smith's best bon mots:
On fame and his image: “It's fun, bro. That's what a lot of people don't realize. It's fun. It's so much fun. It's the best thing. People think you're crazy — I feel like it's an honor, actually, for people to think I'm crazy. Because they thought Galileo was crazy, too, you know what I'm saying? I don't think I'm as revolutionary as Galileo, but I don't think I'm not as revolutionary as Galileo.”
On fucking with the media: “Me and Willow are scientists, so everything for us is a scientific test upon humanity. And luckily we're put in a position where we can affect large groups of human beings at one time.”
On family time: “Me and my sister started this initiative called Mystery School. It dates back to like ancient Egypt, ancient Greece — like Plato, Pythagoras, all these students had mystery schools. And what they learned in there was sacred. They would learn the math and sciences of that generation, and then they would build the cities and give that energy and that knowledge to the other people. And a lot of stuff they would keep really, really to themselves. Like, you couldn't say the word dodecahedron, which is just a shape, outside of one of the mystery schools or they would, like, kill you or whatever. Because it was such a sacred shape.”
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On building a pyramid: “It's at my parents' house. Half of a pyramid. The tip is missing, but the whole structural thing is built, and it sits at 12.5 feet tall. I'll Instagram a picture of it once this comes out, so people know what I'm talking about. It's supposed to be 14 feet tall or 16 feet tall, but the tip of the Giza pyramid is actually cut off. There's no tip. It's missing. So I was like, ‘I want to have a missing tip on here, too.’ Because I copied the exact 57.1 degrees that the Giza pyramid is. Obviously I don't have two miniature pyramids next to it. But I have a little pyramid in my actual room, too. One that's just like three feet tall.”
On his social life: “I rarely go to parties. My whole life is just dedicated on learning and breaking, like, the craziest records of life, and being like one of the craziest human beings to ever exist. That's me."
On college: “I'll go to college. I want to set up offices at MIT just so I can learn and bring in new technologies into the world. Definitely sit in on lectures in college. I've done that already. Like, go sit in that, you know, USC, UCLA, MIT, you know, anything I can get my hands on... I'll go to open schools, eventually, when I'm like 25 or something. Multiple schools. At the same time, around the world. So, like, two in the United States, two in Europe, two in China, India, Russia, Africa, all at the same time."
On Future Jaden: “No one will know where I am in 10 years. They'll see me pop up, but they'll be like, ‘Where'd you come from?’ No one will know. No one will know where I'm at. No one will know who I'm with. No one will know what I'm doing. I've been planning that since I was like 13. It'll be kind of like Banksy. But in a different way. More of a social impact. Helping people. But through art installations. It'll be like, ‘This just happened that helped a bunch of people over here. We don't know who did it, but these symbols and things were left around, so we can only guess that it's Jaden and the squad.’ You know what I'm saying? So I'm just dedicating my whole life to helping the world.”
Any questions?