The unapologetic tone was set in the introduction, courtesy of Nicki Minaj's "Beez in the Trap:" "Bitches ain't shit and they ain't sayin' nothin' / A hundred motherfuckers can't tell me nothin'." Amy Schumer Live at the Apollo only got sassier from there.
In Schumer's HBO special, which premiered last night, the breakout comic of 2015 took on the idea that she's a "sex" comedian, as well as Hollywood's beauty standards and the unfair double standard in sex slang. This wasn't entirely new territory. She pointed out, for instance, that people who call her a "sex comic" would never do that to a man: "A man could stand on this stage and pull his dick out. And people would be like, 'Hmm, he's a thinker!'" (She's done this bit before.)
Schumer was funniest when she was most revealing. She told the crowd that she lost her two front teeth and got her period in the same week in fifth grade, why she never asks for cranberry juice when she has a UTI, and that she has never in her life said, "I forgot to have lunch today!"
Things got really relatable when Schumer talked about her experience in Hollywood while filming Trainwreck. She admitted that after writing the script, she assumed the studio would hire someone younger and hotter (and skinnier) to play the lead. When they asked her to star in the movie, they asked her to do three things.
"One, just be yourself. Two, have fun," Schumer said with an ironic eye roll. "And three, stop eating food."
It's funny, except it's true. Schumer relayed a story of being set up with a Hollywood trainer who basically encouraged her to exercise and not eat. "He's like, 'Here's your new diet. For breakfast, you'll have a smoothie,'" she said. "'For lunch, you'll journal about that smoothie. And then, put a peanut under your pillow and hope you dream about pizza.'"
Schumer's takeaway? The great Hollywood diet secret is that movie stars are hungry — always. Someone had to say it. Props to Schumer for finding the humor in the bullshit.