One Of The Internet’s Greatest Mysteries (Jake Gyllenhaal’s Height) Has Finally Been Solved

Photo: David Fisher/Rex/REX USA.
As a tall person who also likes celebrities, Googling their heights is definitely one of my guilty pleasures. Usually I'm content to believe whatever height the internet spits back at me (well, for men I sometimes subtract an inch or two...we know how much they overcompensate), but there's apparently been a controversy brewing for years when it comes to how tall one particular male celebrity actually is. One Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal's height has been the source of quibbling on famous person height forums — yes, those exist — for a while now. So much so that Starlee Kine was asked to investigate it on one of my favorite episodes ("Source Code") of her stellar podcast, Mystery Show.

Even though Kine got the answer straight from the proverbial horse's mouth himself on her podcast, Gyllenhaal height skeptics remained, well, skeptical. He only told her his height. Anyone can claim to be any height. I can say that I'm 6'7; that doesn't mean that I am. No, the people of the internet would not rest until they saw Jake Gyllenhaal measured and held accountable for every last inch of his person.

Well, last night Kine was a guest on Conan, and Conan O'Brien used his star power to lay this great mystery to rest. He brought out Gyllenhaal and used a tape measure to get to the bottom of this whole height issue. On Mystery Podcast, Gyllenhaal claimed to be 5'11.5. O'Brien found him to be 5'11, but Kine said that all of her research into height had taught her about "max morning height," which is apparently your true height. So, Gyllenhaal might be 5'11.5 when he wakes up in the morning, but the stress and metaphorical weight of his day might beat him down to 5'11.

Now, you might think we finally laid this, the greatest celebrity height mystery of our time to rest, but the internet is still not having it. As of this morning, the debate over Gyllenhaal's true height still rages on in the forums of CelebHeights. Now, a commenter named Savannah is taking O'Brien's findings at face value. "Mystery solved. Gyllenhaal was just measured on the Conan O'Brien show in person. We have footage. He is 5'11 without shoes on," she writes.

Other commenters are more skeptical. Just a few of their dubious questions include: Was O'Brien bending the tape measure? Was Gyllenhaal standing up straight? Was the outcome "a bit generous?"

Can someone just get NASA on this or something?

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