Gird Your Loins! Spanx Is Making Jeans Now

Take some deep breaths before reading this one, if you physically can, Power Panties devotees. Women's Wear Daily reports Spanx will launch denim jeans in July. A departure for the brand, it sounds as though the bottoms don't rely on the theory of compression. (So, thighs won't go the way of Kim Kardashian's pregnancy feet.) "We're known for making you look thinner and more toned," noted the company's founder, Sara Blakely, "but it can just be about a better cut and fit."

Priced at $148, the jeans — created from a cotton, polyester, and Lycra blend — come in skinny, straight-leg, and boot-cut silhouettes. And, two styles. The Signature, WWD explains, is "a high, wide waistband with a side zipper designed for a smooth fit and a 10.5-inch rise." The Slim X is "a traditional five-pocket jean with a stomach-control panel and a 9.25-inch rise."

Signature? Slim X? We have to say the nomenclature leaves a lot to be desired. This, from the makers of the Skinny Britches Short, Boostie-Yay! Comfy Corset, and Trust Your Thinstincts Booty Bra. (Women's Wear Daily)