>Say what you want about Sex and the City — the series' depictions of women talking about sex in a candid, relatable way was seriously groundbreaking. The insane popularity of what was essentially just brunch-time banter sparked a valuable conversation about how we discuss female sexuality in this country, both on-screen and off.
In the years since, though, it seems we may have hit a wall when it comes to discussing the squirmy stuff that happens in the bedroom. A new study commissioned by Durex reveals that many of us are completely inept when it comes to talking about sex. While 42% of survey respondents said they discuss their sex lives with a close friend, only 27% said they talked to their partner about their desires or satisfaction in the bedroom.
But, the study also suggests that technology might be facilitating better communication with our partners. Sexting, at least, is alive and well: About 42% admitted to sending sexy text messages. More interestingly, though, almost half of respondents said they felt more confident communicating with their partners using their phone.
It makes a certain amount of sense that, since we do more and more of our communicating in writing (whether on our phones or on Twitter or Facebook), we might be losing our footing when it comes to actually talking to people — at least when it comes to difficult subjects. Maybe we should start playing to our strengths in the way we start tough conversations. Even if it is over text or email, isn't it better that the conversation happens at all? And, if our discussions about sexual satisfaction start with a text, but then evolve into a longer conversation (whether online or IRL), then that's a win for communication. If nearly 75% of us are feeling uncomfortable discussing our sexual needs with the partner we're actually having sex with, then we need to find ways to normalize that conversation and open up.