Photo: Courtesy of KyleAyers.com.
New York is a fantastic city for voyeurs. Between the traveling sideshow of the public transit system, the sardine-can living density, and the general not-giving-an-eff about people around us, there are a zillion stories to be found by even the most casual of observers. An example, overheard on the subway: "Oh my God, can you believe how hard it's been to organize a simple anarchist working group?!"
Kyle Ayers, a comedian and writer living in New York, was recently a witness to such a story — a rooftop breakup — and he did what any digitally literate millennial might do: He live-tweeted it. You could call it a slice of life with a dollop of schadenfreude, but it's more than that. It's a textbook example of upwardly mobile, 20-something Brooklynite drama that not even Lena Dunham could capture as exquisitely.
Our dramatis personae includes an Unnamed Guy, a Girl Named Rachel, and Kyle, the unreliable narrator who unwittingly becomes a part of the story. We begin in medias res, and Rachel has a number of bones to pick.
First, her guy, whose name we don't learn, isn't living up to her conception of a boyfriend:
There are trust issues:
She is critical of his wardrobe:
He has trouble focusing:
Eventually, the couple even notices Ayers on his phone, but decides to continue on anyway. (Those are some real New Yorkers for you.) We don't want to spoil the ending, so you can read the rest of the play-by-play on Ayers' Twitter account or a handy condensed version on Storify. (Buzzfeed)
"My roommates are always like 'wheres your boyfriend?' And I'm like 'hmm' and stuff." -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
There are trust issues:
"ITS A TEXT FROM MY COWORKER. A WORK TEXT" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
She is critical of his wardrobe:
"Say something else about my fucking wardrobe" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
He has trouble focusing:
"Are we getting pizza or what? I don't mean to change the subject but are we?" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
Eventually, the couple even notices Ayers on his phone, but decides to continue on anyway. (Those are some real New Yorkers for you.) We don't want to spoil the ending, so you can read the rest of the play-by-play on Ayers' Twitter account or a handy condensed version on Storify. (Buzzfeed)