Hump, Marry, Kill: Sleepy Hollow Has A Headless Horsemen & Starbucks Problem

Hump: My favorite part of any “just woke up after 200 years; hey, what’d I miss?”-based show is always the first piece of pop culture a modern-day person chooses to present. On Sleepy Hollow, we were treated to some witty car banter about Starbucks. Personally, I would've started with the Sleep Number bed. But hey, we've got time.

Ichabod Crane, who had been frozen in time since the Revolutionary War, was just agog over the startling number of the coffee chain’s stores he saw around town. And Lieutenant Abbie Mills was matching him unintentional zinger for intentional one. “How many of them are there?” Crane inquires. “Per block?” Mills shoots back. To which Ichabod scoffs, “Is there a law?”

Mills also describes the ‘Bucks as being “where they make coffee,” which really isn’t enough of an explanation for someone from the eighteenth century who I’m guessing has never encountered “casual dining restaurants,” “baristas,” or cups of coffee so large he would probably die just from inhaling them.

Then again, this show needs some levity given the fact that it combines The Legend of Sleepy Hollow with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a coven of witches, and some kind of satanic creatures with horns. I’m honestly not well-versed in demonic and apocalyptic lore from the Book of Revelation (it wasn’t covered in Hebrew School), so the pilot didn’t entirely gel for me. I do like evil John Cho, though.

Nevertheless, Sleepy Hollow is one of the better new shows this year, so I suggest checking it out. Come for the coffee and pastry humor (there’s a bit next week about the “levy on baked goods” that’s pretty much the height of food-based tariff humor on TV), stay for the mélange of biblical, literary, and other lessons they somehow skipped in AP History.

Marry: As if Key & Peele’s send-up of how everyone in Les Mis sings over each other on the season premiere wasn’t perfect enough, Emily Nussbaum then tweeted that Jordan Peele was a puppetry major at Sarah Lawrence. That’s only like, the coolest major ever. Also: “Steinbeck, y’all!’

(Oh, you thought I was going to write about Nick Miller here? Well, you’re right. He continues to be the eternal “Marry” — even if he doesn’t carry an apartment key and his life is admittedly in shambles. I mean, his favorite part about resort jail was that they let him watch Ugly Betty. Now please be a dear and fetch me my smelling salts.)

Kill: Is Dads as bad as everyone says it is? Why yes, yes it is. It’s racist, ageist, sexist, chauvinistic, and just plain old not funny. Seth Green, please stick to voicing Chris Griffin and making more Robot Chicken. Love, us.