3 Things You Should Never Lie To Your Partner About

Photographed by Lauren Perlstein.
By Coach Todd Reed

We're all familiar with little white lies. We've probably all told some. In fact, recent research reveals that, on average, we lie to our significant others three times per week.

Sometimes, twisting the truth is necessary in relationships — like when you’re trying to spare your partner’s feelings, avoid embarrassing him or her, or attempting to prevent a dumb argument over something genuinely trivial.

But never make the mistake of thinking that all lies are created equal. Even when spilling the truth feels scary as hell, here are some big things you should never lie about — because not keeping it real on these points kills otherwise great relationships.
Advertisement

But never make the mistake of thinking that all lies are created equal.



When You’ve Cheated
The most common lies couples tell revolve around affairs. (No surprise there.) However, lying on top of cheating just makes everything so much worse. Sure, you feel the need to "protect your partner" (which we all know means protecting yourself). Then there's the worry that spilling the truth could unravel your relationship. But by being dishonest, you’re doing nothing but perpetuating deception. And doesn’t your partner deserve better?

The good news is that infidelity is not always a deal breaker. In fact, studies show that relationships have a greater chance of surviving when the cheating spouse owns up to it. So, bite the bullet, come clean, and get some counseling to resolve the issues that led you to stray. Then, get to work rebuilding trust and intimacy with your significant other.


The good news is that infidelity is not always a deal breaker.

Sub-Par Sex
According to research, a whopping 70% of women fake orgasm during vaginal intercourse. Seriously? I'm not claiming that sex has to be off-the-hook-amazing all the time, but lying about a lack of fulfillment between the sheets is mind-boggling. Simply because: If you don't admit that something (or everything) your partner is doing isn't working, how will he or she ever figure out what does work?

I understand your reluctance to speak up, for fear of crushing your partner's ego, but trust me, he or she derives pleasure from your pleasure.

The best approach here is to find a sexy way to communicate your desires. If your partner does something that rocks your world, let him or her know. Then, that move is sure to become part of your shared sexual repertoire. As for sub-par moves that just don't turn you on? Try whispering, “Can we try something different?" Or gently guide your partner's hand or mouth elsewhere, and make it clear that that drives you crazy with desire.

If you don't admit that something (or everything) your partner is doing isn't working, how will he or she ever figure out what does work?

Advertisement


Related: 6 Messed Up Things That Master Manipulators Do

What You're Spending
Those pricey designer pumps you claimed you snagged for half-price, the secret bank account your partner doesn't know about, the personal credit card balance you hide? According to a recent survey, conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education, one in three adults who have combined their money in a relationship fib about finances.

Bad idea, since financial infidelity can wreak havoc on your relationship. In one poll, 67% of couples said that financial deception led to arguments, while 42% said it caused less trust in the relationship. Even worse, a Kansas State University study found that bickering over bucks is the top predictor of divorce — regardless of a couple's income, debt, or net worth.

I agree with Deborah Price, author of The Heart of Money, who insists that "Most money problems aren't actually about money; they're symptoms, and the problems are truly about something else." So, have an open and honest discussion about your finances to figure out what’s at the root of any money "evils," and find solutions you can both get on board with. Then, work as a team — even if it means getting financial counseling — to get back on track. 'Til debt do you part.

Next: Are These The Secrets To A Happy Relationship?
Advertisement

More from Sex & Relationships

When it comes to penises, we’re often told that bigger is better — but in reality, that's far from the truth. In fact, studies suggest that, other than ...
I had just ended my second “serious relationship” and had been back in the usual rotation of dating apps when I met Drew*. Drew was a man that my mother ...
It probably doesn’t come as a surprise that sexting can be great for your relationship. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a while or you’re just ...
Amber Rose doesn't do "off days." "I always feel confident," she tells us. "I never allow myself to not feel confident. I wake up and say, I’m going out ...
Heartbreak doesn’t just hurt, it often feels impossible. So many questions come along with the pain: How can I move on? How do I get through this? Will it ...
In the best-case scenario, you go on a first date with someone, and you hit it off. The chemistry is off the charts, and you're never at a loss for what to...
Sexting was never my thing, and I sure as hell never thought I would even consider cybersex. I knew myself — or at least, I thought I did. I’ll get too ...
(Paid Content) You don't need a degree in common sense to know getting involved with a coworker is a bad idea. Yet, we probably all know someone who has, ...
Historically, women in West Africa have not had a voice. Men decide if their wife or wives can use birth control or have access to money; fathers decide if...
Foreplay often doesn't get enough credit — not to mention time or attention. In one study of heterosexual couples published in the Journal of Sexual ...
Aside from encountering creeps and starting conversations that just don't go anywhere, one major problem online daters face is catfishing. According to a...
A version of this story originally appeared on Shape. When it comes to female pleasure, there's enough misinformation out there to fill a book. One of ...
This article was originally published on December 18, 2015. According to stereotypes, men are the sexually voracious cheaters and women are the ...
We're great fans of accessorizing in the bedroom. Au naturel stimulation is wonderful, but sex toys can do things that people just can't. The sex toy ...