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Are you a pirate when it comes to fighting? As in, do you brazenly charge in with accusations, a smattering of profanity, and hope to crudely beat your point across? The brutal truth is that this will get you nowhere with your partner
Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
, compiled a list of 23 phrases that can help couples
turn a verbal brawl back down to a constructive fight. Here are YourTango's top picks from that list — and why we think they work so well.