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By Resmaa Menakem
When something feels "off," one of these relationship killers could be lurking beneath the surface.
“Something is missing!”
This is the number one statement couples
make about their relationship when they come to my office for counseling. Maybe you’ve even said the same thing about your own marriage or relationship.
Of course, the obvious question to ask these couples is — What is the “something” you feel is missing?
Surprisingly, very few of these couples can actually name what the elusive “something” is.
They reach for surface answers: Sex
is missing. Communication is missing. But, then they quickly acknowledge that these things aren’t truly the answer. Something deeper
is absent. And, to their great frustration, they can’t say what. They just know that, in their gut, something isn’t right.
To make matters worse, they aren’t talking openly and honestly about this issue with their partner. They ignore it and avoid it until the chasm between them widens.
In my book, Rock The Boat
, I tackle this topic in-depth because I know couples often needlessly fall apart at the exact moment they want most to reunite and rebuild their relationship.
Does this sound like your relationship?
Well, here’s the thing — you can’t learn how to save your marriage
if you can't even discuss it. And, you can’t discuss an issue you don’t even understand.
To that end, let me offer some insight on what’s really going on when you and your partner say “something is missing” in your relationship. Once you better understand what’s really going on, it’s time for the two of you to talk, honestly, about your next steps.
Read on to discover six reasons why something is missing in your relationship... Related: Help! My Husband Is Bored Of Sex