Our trusty bottle of perfume is getting dangerously low. Hence, we're on the lookout for something classy yet fun, but won't make us smell like an old dude or a peach pie. Indeed, there are barrels of options out there (some better than others), but upon closer inspection, we couldn't ignore all the olfactory products that didn't make much...well, sense. Even if these fragrant formulas are pleasing to the nose, their ridiculous monikers suck all the allure right out of them. And so we bring you: The worst-named fragrances that definitely hit all the wrong notes.
1. Insolence by Guerlain—Maybe it's just us, but smelling "rude and impertinent" is not the kind of thing we're into.
2. Basil by Marc Jacobs—Marc Jacobs wins over foodies with this summery body-spray with light after-notes of marinara and sardines.
3. White Shoulders by Evyan—We recommend a month with Head and Shoulders—the dandruff shampoo should clear that right up.
4. Intimately Beckham by David Beckham—If you've ever wondered what the nooks and crannies of David Beckham smell like, smell no further.
5. Paris Hilton Can Can by Parlux—It's almost unfair to include anything that's branded by Paris, but "Paris Hilton Can Can" sounds like a bad dream we keep having over, and over, and over...
6. Unforgivable Woman by Sean John—Yes! We'd love to have a scent that reminds our friends of that one time we accidentally forgot to come to their birthday party!
7. ! by Coty—! is actually pronounced "exclamation," but we always preferred waving our hands and making crazy eyes to describe our most beloved drugstore scent.
8. Catmuse Nisha by Pierre Dinand—Pierre Dinand's other pet, DogGuru Simone was more than miffed that he didn't receive a signature fragrance.
9. Red Jeans by Versace—The only thing that could make this combo tackier is if you added a bedazzled facade or got one of the Real Housewives to endorse it.
10. Perhaps by Bob Mackie—Other names that may have been contendors: Ambivalence, Procrastination, and Wishy-Washy.
11. Paris Lady Sexy by Imitation Perfume—Modeled after Paris Hilton's Can Can (the aforementioned egregiously named counterpart), we have a feeling that "Paris Lady Sexy" was Ms. Hilton's first pitch.
12. Nice Flowers by Imitation Perfume—The first thing in ad copy-writing is keeping it short, sweet, and to the point. The second thing is to not make it suck.
Paint the Town Red in These Scarlett-Hued Frocks
Weekend Deals NYC: Oak, Barneys, Freemans Sporting Club, Areaware, and More...